Hey Señorita

Every now and then, when I see certain names appear on the caller ID, I'll answer the phone as if I am my own voicemail. And sometimes with the unexpected message.

"Hello. And welcome to Wilson's Love Line. For hot, sexy talk: please press one. [pause]. There are no other options."

Often the caller will press one immediately, and before I can continue. Almost always, they do not realize I am not a recording.

For added verisimilitude, I may end the bit with "Por español, prima numero dos."

Which I now think would be a great latina drag name: "Prima Numerados."