My snoring is epic. I have been asked to move campgrounds before. And it may have something to do with my inability to form lasting romantic relationships.
I had originally planned to have surgery to deal with this, and had the first of two sets successfully performed. As the second set of surgeries required a six-week recovery period and a lot of pain, I put it off for years. When the time finally did come, I caught a cold the morning of and had to cancel—never to return. Later, doctors told me surgery wouldn't have the 80% success rate previously estimated, but more like 20% to 30%, which really didn't seem to be worth the pain and effort. I finally caved and returned to the pulminologist for a proper, in the la, sleep study to determine my current level of apnea and the possible use of a CPAP as a remedy.
Holy crap that was a lot of wires. Here I am getting jacked in for the sleep study.
The tech was wonderfully charming and just a baby. As he added more and more wires, I said, "We have the technology. Make him stronger. Faster." Nothing. Did not get the reference. And explaining it made me feel really old. Maybe a Locutus reference would have been better.
After attaching more leads to my scalp I said, "I hope the governor calls." Nope, still nothing. Maybe clemency is granted by tweet now.
Long story short, I loved the CPAP and look forward to getting my personal one fitted and running. I may not have ever had a good night's sleep in my life. I am looking forward to this, even if it severely dampens my dating life. It's one thing to be all "Who's your Daddy?" It's another to wear a face mask with asthmatic sounds that more along the lines of "Luke, I am your father!"
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