and farewell to the fathers

My family has always been a loving, welcoming bunch.  As Jay noted in his homily to Dad, "...somehow the other children wanted you as their dad too...Dad, you and mom ran a household that welcomed our friends as much as your own children. We just seemed to collect other kids. Margaret, Jonathan, Susannah, Billy, Bill, two Pauls, Carrington, EJ, Robin, Hartley, Joe, Sloan, Scott, and anyone who lived on Sheppard Place, to name a few."

Among these close ties, I have two biological brothers, an adjunct brother, an adjunct brother and sister-in-law, and a pseudo sister. I refer to Margaret as my pseudo sister as she and I were raised pretty much next door to one another and are close as I imagine I would be had I a biological sister. You've met Margaret.

Joe (3), aka Jody, was brother Jay's best friend growing up and was annexed by the Hardcastles in high school around the time his parents were divorcing. I could not love Joe more if he were my own blood. It was Joe who, being too close to Dad to call him Mister Hardcastle and too respectful to call him John, coined the appellation Papa John—the name of reverence and affection my father carried proudly and too soon unto the grave. Joe now lives in Birmingham with his family.

Also brought into the fold was T. Hartley (4) whose father was our pastor growing up and one of Dad's closest friends. Hartley married Carolyn, and through much effort produced Grace. With their parents absent, Mom and Dad became the "Designated Parents" and when Grace came along, Papa John and Franna joyfully became doting grandparents to one more.

This week two of my acquired siblings have lost their fathers too, and I would like to pay my respects:

Joseph Hiram Calvin, Jr.
From the Birmingham News/AL.com:

CALVIN, JR., JOSEPH HIRAM Joe Calvin died on April 3, 2012; he was born in Decatur, Alabama June 2, 1918, the son of Joseph Hiram Calvin and Bernice Jackson Calvin. He was educated in the Decatur City Schools and graduated high school from the McCallie School in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Joe graduated from Davidson College where he was president of the Kappa Alpha fraternity. He attended Harvard Law School for two years before serving in the army, from which he retired as a captain in 1946. Joe received his Juris Doctor from the University of Alabama and practiced law in Decatur for nearly fifty years. During this time Joe served as President of the Morgan County Bar Association, President of the Decatur Kiwanis Club, was a long time member of the Board of Compass Bank, Chairman of the Decatur School Board and was elected to represent Morgan and Lawrence Counties in the Alabama State Senate. He was named most effective Alabama senator. Joe was a lifelong member of the First Presbyterian Church in Decatur until moving to Birmingham in 2000. He was a deacon and elder and taught Sunday school for many years. He is thought of by all as the perfect gentleman. Joe is survived by his wife Juliet Given Calvin, and his son Joseph Calvin III, wife Jennifer Calvin and four grandchildren; Kalli Calvin, Elizabeth Calvin, Joseph Calvin IV and Virginia Calvin. Joe is survived by Juliet Calvin's sons Finis St. John IV, wife Gaynor Lee St. John, and William Given St. John, wife Elizabeth Gentry St. John. He is also survived by her grandsons Finis St. John, wife Virginia Givhan St. John and great granddaughter Mary Juliet; and John Jefferson St. John. He was predeceased by Juliet's granddaughter Emily Parker St. John. The family will have a private graveside service at the Decatur City Cemetery on April 4, 2012.

Al Griffin, Jr.
From the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

GRIFFIN, Albert, Jr. ALBERT GRIFFIN, JR. Albert Griffin, Jr., 77, of Atlanta and Flowery Branch, GA died peacefully on March 15, 2012. Al was born on March 10, 1935, in Philadelphia, PA, to Albert and Mabel Hilsman Griffin. He was a 1953 graduate of Druid Hills High School and a 1957 graduate of The University of Pennsylvania where he received a degree in Political Science from The Wharton School and was a member of Sigma Nu fraternity. He received a graduate degree from The Stonier Graduate School of Banking at Rutgers University where he wrote his thesis on the financing of professional sports teams. Al's entire 40-plus year banking career was spent at SunTrust. For years, he ran the bank's college recruiting and management training programs. He loved following the careers of those he had identified and taught, many of whom became leaders in the bank. In the late 70's, he transitioned to the bank's investment department where he enjoyed working with individuals who became clients and friends until his retirement. Al was a member of Ansley Golf Club and First Presbyterian Church where he served three terms as elder, twice chaired the church's long range planning committee and was a member of the stewardship committee. Al was instrumental in the formation of First Presbyterian's Broadcast Ministry, twice traveled with a group from the church to Kenya and was a devoted member of the Tuesday morning men's Bible Study at the church for more than 15 years. He also served on the boards of Young Life Northwest Atlanta, the Atlanta Chapter of Habitat for Humanity and The Ravina Club.

Al was preceded in death by his parents and his first wife Carol Gregory Griffin. He is survived by his wife of 28 years Martha Dickinson Griffin, sister Mabel Griffin Kichline and her husband Pat, and brother-in-law Bruce M. Gregory, all of Atlanta. He is also survived by daughter Carolyn Griffin Hall and her husband Hartley of Nashville, TN, and sons Richard H. Lindeman and his wife Charlotte of Lookout Mountain, TN, Kenneth L. Lindeman and his wife Margaret of Gastonia, NC, Peter B. Lindeman and his wife Celeste of Atlanta, and Henry V. Lindeman, II and his wife Amy of Memphis, TN. Also nephew James M. Crawford, Jr. and his wife Tracy of Woodside, CA, and niece Laurie Crawford Tolbert and her husband Tom of Lexington Kentucky. Al is survived by 11 grandchildren: Grace Griffin Hall, Richard, Ashley and Charlie Lindeman, Emily and Annie Lindeman; Claire, Bryson and Frank Lindeman, Henry and Russell Lindeman, and seven great-nieces and nephews: Kaylynn and Alyssa Crawford and Griffin, Jackson, Rachel, Benjamin and Bonnie Tolbert, all of whom brought him great joy over the past two decades. A celebration of a life well lived will be held on Sunday, March 18, 2012, at two o'clock at First Presbyterian Church Atlanta followed by a reception in Fifield Hall. In lieu of flowers, memorial gifts may be made to First Presbyterian Church, 1328 Peachtree Street, NE, Atlanta, GA 30309; The Westminster Schools, 1424 W. Paces Ferry Road, NW, Atlanta, GA 30327.