mind the gap

My two front teeth used to be so tight together that I could spray a steady stream of water through the tiny chip at their intersection using my tongue. In the past three months, they've shifted enough to create a gap I could receive mail through. WTF?

I can't believe that I just turned 42 and will be getting a retainer. For my teeth. Like I'm in seventh grade. And will be paying $$$ for it, even with insurance covering half. I shudder to think what those full braces cost my parents.