Instead of going with my close friends (who are also on this list but unavailable), I invited JD, who is on the same list and works across the street from my office, as my companion/wingman. I know JD from Sundance, and increasingly enjoy his company. When we first met, he was rather flirty and I lapped up the attention like a dog. But JD can also be a bit intimidating as he is excruciatingly handsome, and has a timbre to his voice that couls soothe any savage breast. He is also on the wagon, and I have learned that in practical terms I cannot have an ongoing romantic relationship with someone in recovery. I fully support their recovery, but too much of the fabric of my life involves social drinking and it just never works out with someone who does/can not. The hardest drug I ever do is Jack Daniels, so I feel okay with my level of alcohol (ab)use. And I’m Southern for goodness sakes.
Regardless, I decided not to pursue a romantic relationship with JD, and we continue to be friends. (Not to mention that dating in the Sundance pool is just generally a very bad idea.) But still, Lordy he’s handsome. It is often difficult for me (ME!) to carry on a conversation with him as sometimes his looks just render me speechless (and that’s saying something for those who know me). Of course, for the first several months that I knew him I never saw him without a hat or with a shirt.
When I found out he worked across the street I stopped by his office one day, but assumed I had the wrong room as I didn’t recognize him without the hat and in professional attire. Now I often see him after work and he’s in his motorcycle garb. Man, I thought he was hot before. (For such a quiet, modest guy, he has plenty of attention at Sundance. A few months back he pierced his nipples. While some guys get into that sort of thing, on him it was just gilding the lily. And for me had the opposite effect. I’m just saying.)
Anyway, we are going to this thing tonight together. Not as a date-together, but a friends-together and part of his new initiative to “go out more and do new things.” I told you he is the quiet type. I wondered why he was still single and it seems he really doesn’t go out much. While his social skills are fine, his socializing skills are not. The function tonight is from 6:00 to 8:00, and he asked if I wanted to see a movie (300) afterwards at 8:05. Now generally at social events, especially gay events where the point is to socialize, the hope or the aim is to meet new people. When participating in (not just attending) such an event, one should plan to carry the socializing past the stated hour—I don’t know if the place will be closing its doors at 8:00, but one should at least allow, if not plan for, the possibility of meeting a new person or new people and carrying the introduction into an after event of dinner or drinks. If you are planning to socialize, it might be nice to have an out if you are not having a good time, but I would not avidse you to commit to having to leave early and be forced to cut short any fun times or relationships you might be sowing. To me this seems counter-productive. (As I type this I am thinking of RMJ who I know understands this protocol so well.)
Not wanting to be the frsit to a party, DJ also doesn’t want to get there until 6:30 or 7:00. But he mentioned that 300 has been selling out so we should get to the theater 30 to 40 minutes early—which leaves, what?—a half hour to have fun in the museum and chat people up?
Now you all know I have a, shall we say, “fluid” relationship with time. (Okay, I’m always late. Not like Mac Hardcastle late. More like Fran Hardcastle late. Add the Hardcastle social timing—well, Dad and Jay are atomic punctual—to Southern late, and then to gay late, and I just operate in another time zone. Deal with it.) Southern gentleman/socialite I am, I know that one does not want to be on time for a party that starts at 7:00 and say ends at 11:00, but functions that are downtown and 6:00-8:00 are clearly “after-work” functions and arriving on-time is not considered a social faux pas, but rather convenient and maximizing the potential for fun and games in such a narrow window.
So I’ve got to split now to make myself pretty. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and am not feeling particularly handsome these days, so I’ll need to put in a little extra effort tonight as I will be cavorting with “Dear God in Heaven” handsome at my side. But socializing is something I can do, and these are skills I am happy to impart to my newly-outgoing friend. He can train me in the bod, and I can train him at the mod.
Just call us the Face and Grace.
Or perhaps, Gym and Tonic.
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