On 300 (the movie)

I don't know what the critics where whining about, or what the reviewer over at AfterElton was smoking, but 300 was great, and not remotely homophobic. (Yes the homosexuality of the Spartan soldier was absent, but it was not necessary to the story either.)

Homoerotic? Damn those are some torsos. There were one or two (or more) scenes where one is jarred out of the story by the array of such super-heroic physiques posing around one another wearing nothing but black speedos and red capes. Superman would have gotten his ass kicked by the Spartans.


The story was simple, but great. The visuals were stunning, and the acting on spot. Epics, especially classical empire epics, tend to go a little long and be a bit slow in places. I was thoroughly engaged and entertained throughout the picture. The B-story, politics back home, was also short and simple, but very well done. You will forget Helen Mirren. Now this is a queen.


[Queen Gorgo is given two of the most powerful lines in the movie. The first is taken directly from the classical text. When the Persian messenger is aghast that the King asks his wife for her opinon, he asks, "You permit your women to speak?" The queen replies that "only Spartan women give birth to real men." Some have interpreted this to mean that only men with the self-confidence to accept women as equals were men at all. I understand more as a respect these women, it is only the strong women of Sparta who can create such strong men. "Strength" of these women referring to the emotional and the rational as well as the physical.]

I had read about the gore and the blood and the violence, and as I generally hate gratuitous violence a la Death Wish or Kill Bill, I was apprehensive. Sure, it's a bloody war movie with squishy penetrations of spears into chests, dismemberments, beheadings, and gallons of what CSI referrs to as spatter and cast off, but none of this was gratuitous. In fact, it was rather artful, like a battlefield ballet.

The impression of the gore may have been tempered by the audience empathizing and rooting for the underdogs doing the killing, defending themselves and their homeland from invaders. The impression of graphic violence was also more like graphic-novel violence--it was artful, visually constucted, and sepia washed.

For a movie which held for me only mild interest, I had a great time.

Of course, we also saw it in IMAX, which was awesome (apologies for sounding like a sixth-grader, but seriously, the 300 IMAX experience was, in fact, totally awesome.).

For a film lover (and aspiring film archivist) I haven't been going to the movies lately. Either it's the film fare available, or the fare for attending. Going to the movies is getting to be a bigger a bigger hassle (time, parking, theater space) and the cost of parking, $10 admission, second mortgage for a snack and a soda makes it more expensive than a nice night out with dinner and a show. And I've been opting for nicer nights and concerts over more expensive mediocre movies.

last night I thought I should start seeing movies only in IMAX. It is such a superior experience (although if you have to pee it is a huge deal), and while it costs 50% more than a standard movie ticket, paying $15 for IMAX over the $10 for a regular movie, the cost differential doesn't seem so bad for the added value.

If only they'd show more previews before the IMAX shows (the only show whatever IMAX preview they have available). I love previews.

But if they start charging $15, and showing commercials, then they will have gone too far.


Last word: Many critics are trying to make this story a modern allegory. Iran is all pissed because they think it is about US versus them. Others try to make it about Iraq. Or the Bush administration.

They are all full of crap. Just enjoy the story. Some of the dialog is taken directly from the classical account.

Colbert satired this tendency recently. You'll have to fast-forward to about three-quarters of the way through his report on the A-Pop-Calypse. Movies is the fourth horseman.
(video expires April 14)