Bring me the Big Metal Chicken

This has been cracking me and my family up for days.  I can't believe I never came across The Bloggess before.  I love this woman's writing.  I want to write with her.  Or at least drink.

It started with someone sharing this wonderful entry, because I love anything involving comically large chickens and good-natured taunting of loved ones with irrational tempers.

And That's Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Battles

I also love that there was some follow up action, and that all of this spawned greeting cards:

  .

And that a fan even edited a wikipedia entry thusly.

This has inspired me to start getting back to the funny with the blog.  Life and work have sort of kept me down and away from (1) free time for writing and (2) feeling all that silly.  This has also inspired me to put a lot of those overheards, clever bon mots, and calling card lines on Zazzle or Cafe Press and maybe make some dough off of my shenanigans.  The Bloggess hinted in one of her posts that she is going to name her online store "Eight pounds of uncut cocaine" just to make your Visa bill more interesting.  I'm thinking now "pay no attention to this item and move along" or maybe just "barnyard porn."

There are too many big-red-male-chicken puns to choose just one.


Update:
My sister-in-law is losing her eggs over this and I am loving it.

>I am literally CRYING in my office this is so funny. I love this story. This is absolutely, positively HILARIOUS!!

>I can't stop crying. My funny bone has been tickled to its core!! I think I have to order the cards. I hope my credit card bill says eight pounds of uncut cocaine.

Me: Knock, knock, motherfker.

>Because this chicken will cut you! I can so see the whole TJ Max scene. I can't wait for Carrington to read it. We're having dinner with them tomorrow night at their house. I may have to take a metal chicken to hang out with her real chickens.

Me: I can see you totally pulling this on Mac because that's so you, and the going ape-shit over more towels is so him.

>LOL!!! That is so true. Maybe that is why I cried my eyes out reading this. I still can't stop laughing. I love it. It is totally something I would love to do. And if Mac disposed of the chicken, I'd go buy towels...PINK ones.

Me: Oh God. You realize I am buying you all pink towels now, right?

>I will hurt you. If you buy me a big metal chicken on the other hand, I will love you. Especially if you tuck into Mac's side of the bed with a note that says, "turn off the TV mother fcker".

Finally, I LOL'd at a note from my other sister-in-law, who couldn't quite figure it out because she originally misread the title as "And That's Why You Should Learn to Pick Your Batteries."