I hope the Daily Show picks this up.

Conservative holes such as Coulter (best take on her f-bomb by Pam over here, and updated here), O'Reilly, Hannity, and the other wingnuts at Fox are virulently anti-gay as a baseline, but they have stepped up their rhetoric this week, with O'Reilly going ballistic at Mayor Newsom for recognizing Colt's 40th anniversary, and the right-wing love fest and liberal-bashing that was the CPAC conference. Ever present was the "solid, brave soldier" who has come forward (but not out)to tell his harrowing story of being unwelcome as a military recruiter by the students at Columbia University. He has said his experience with the anti-military students has been as emotionally intense as sniper attacks.

O'Rieilly has embraced this brave icon of the Red-Blooded American Soldier. As has Hannity. Coulter looked like she wanted an hour in the cloak room with the rugged young man.

He's a junior in college, and a corporal in the Marines. So he's, what, early 20's? Oh, 36. What was he doing before joining the military and going to college.

Oh, lots and lots of gay porn. (NSFW)

One blogger has also found an online profile listing him for hire in NYC. ("Escorting" is such a nice word for "whore" isn't it.)

Well, considering the whole Jeff Gannon incident, the right will vilify, demonize, and dehumanize anyone remotely associated with homosexuality or homosexuals, unless they further the conservative agenda. Then even the whores are welcome.

As far as I can tell, the news "broke" in the online forum Datalounge, was then posted on the porn-centric blog of Tom Bacchus, which was seen and posted by the wildly popular Joe.My.God, which was seen and discussed by Andy Towle, who apparently dated the guy, over at Towleroad.

With such an (ahem) extensive career in porn (he brags about 11 inches), you would think he might worry about getting noticed doing so many interviews on national tv.

I just really, really want to see the Daily Show and the Colbert Report go to town on this one.

It's not the gay that bothers me, or the porn, or the escorting, or the idea of a gay porn escort nobly and admirably serving his country in the Marines, or even military recruitment on campus. No, it's the blatant and aggravated hypocrisy of the right-wing pundits that riles me.

Baby love

I've already sent LBL (little baby Leland) two outfits. One newborn onezie reading "Do I look like I was born yesterday?" and an awesome baby tee with googlie eyes reading "I appreciate the muppets on a much deeper level than you." I also bought an adult one of those for Kevin.

And now I've found this one from Glarkware.

But I don't think Mac and Emily would ever dress him in it.

It's not you, it's me.

I think we have all been there before.

Maybe this is why men start with the line "Can I buy you a drink?"

Catherine Tate (BBC)

Boston Crucible

As a follow up to my earlier Boston's attack on Lite-Brights rant.

This is a wonderful analysis of the increasingly embarassing security paranoia and cultural/generational disconnect of Boston powers-that-be.

From CTheory

Fear and Loathing in the Bay State
By Dion Dennis

excerpt:

So this is what it has come to: Two young artists (their demeanor an echo of 1960s creative expressiveness), paid a pittance to playfully market a surrealist cartoon movie starring several talking base-level consumer commodities, have been labeled semiotic terrorists and criminals by official reality. What does this political panic reflex, played out in the gerontocratic and the politically correct Commonwealth of Massachusetts, tell us? What are the object lessons that can be drawn from this emotive, mediated and bureaucratic externalization of early 21st Century nightmares and demons? According to the criminal statute applied, these crude LED "Mooninites" that literally flipped Boston "the Bird" were legally defined as "infernal machines." Among the eleven cities targeted by this particular guerilla marketing campaign, only in Boston were these innocuous "lite brites" perceived to be objects of terror. Only in Boston did official reality shut down major parts of the city, deploy the Bomb Squad, and make ritualistic arrests and arraignments. Therefore, the question can, and should, be asked: What does this say about the current conscience collectif in the land of the Puritans, Kerouac, and Kennedy?

In this syndrome, subjects inappropriately react to neutral stimuli as if such stimuli were signals of real hostility.

What is going on in this stubborn bastion of a once optimistic state-centered liberalism, as it reacts to signs that oddly refract images of a Vietnam-era collective self? Official and local media reactions constitute a classic case of what psychologists call "hostile attributional syndrome." In this syndrome, subjects inappropriately react to neutral stimuli as if such stimuli were signals of real hostility. Appropriately decoded, these reactions have significant diagnostic value. As a public event, the response of official organs displays complex patterns of displacement and condensation, as befits such a symbolic event and product. Below are some (hopefully) heuristic disentanglements of a couple of these very complex threads.

...

First, we can see the historical and hysterical echoes of the 17th Century Salem witch trials. The two artists, the long-haired, bearded Belorussian immigrant Berdovsky and his sidekick, Stevens, stand publicly accused of producing, as defined by Massachusetts General Law, Chapter 266, Section 102, an "infernal machine." (Etymologically, the term "infernal" refers to Hell and the identities and products of the demons of said residence). So, like Arthur Miller's John Proctor, they will undoubtedly be asked to "make a deal" with official reality, to acknowledge their "infernal" (demonic) specific intent (as defined by the statute) and, in doing so, externalize the demons of the populace as they reaffirm the dominant symbolic order. Contemporary ritual exorcisms will be performed in court, press conferences and press releases, and remixed and expanded by local and 24 hour news media, as they are archived for subsequent use.

Just sayin'

Hey kids. I know there haven't been a lot of posts lately, and few "personal" posts. (I know this because some of you have been complaining.) It's not that I haven't been busy, just that there hasn't been all that much to blog about. Every night this week I have had something going on, but either I haven't had the time to write about it, or the events, while enjoyable, were not necessarily supper-funny-blog-times.

Yesterday, however, was pretty classic.

I stepped into Shilpa's office for something or another. And she stopped to say something along the lines of "I'm so proud of you."
"For what"
"Trying not to go out so much during the week. And refraining from enabling me."
"Well, I need to spend some time and home and take care of things and spend less money and get more sleep. I'm starting today-- a concerted effort to stay in on weeknights."
"Oh by the way, that improv thing is tonight. Are you still in?"
"Sure.... Wow. That didn't last long did it?"

And Kevin called. It seems that Drunk Girl is getting a little stir crazy since the surgery last Friday (he had his shoulder socket stiched back together or some such). So I invited him along to the improve show and Lisa added him to the list.

(Shilpa's friend Lisa's friend Jay--whom I call Linus-- is an improve troupe called Blue Blanket Improv who play 50 Mason on the first Thursday of the month. It was going to be a big night for them as they were getting reviewed by the Chronicle. Turns out they have joined with another troupe, Spanking Monkeys I think, and are now going by Chicken Scratch. I don't think they are much better for the merging, with the exception of the quick-witted blond whose Anna Nicole was HIGH-larious.)

The improv was funny, but again, not as nearly as funny as Kevin, Shilpa and I when we're in our groove, which we were.

Kevin was so happy to be out, and we were punch-drunk with laughter, so even though we drove all the way back to Shilpa's (for Lisa to get her car), we decided to hit the Cat for 1984.

Again, hilarity ensued. And flickr-addict Shilpa brought her spare camera battery as mine had died (and she has lost her camera, again).

Fun shots:








And we met some random/interesting people in from NYC for some Budweiser marking video.




The place was pretty full of attractive 20-somethings. And apparently Rod Stewart's love child.

(N.B. I am not counting the figures in the foreground in the "attractive" assessment.)

I started talking to this random, kinda sexy, tall guy on the prowl then Kevin and I sort of threw him at Shilpa (the gays are always trying to take care of our girls).

Apparently, the guy was a bit of a loser conversationally and Shilpa tried kicking me to take her away. Pushing the hook up agenda, I merely kept backing away and out of kick range...until Shilpa looked like some sort of yoga contortionist stretching her leg as far as she could from the banquette to continue prodding me. The opposite of subtle. Kevin and I finally relented and let her escape the boorish boy. I personally thought as lame as his mind was, he would still be good for some attention. But we all have our standards, and low as they may sometimes be.


Tonight: Impromptu PYRAMID!

Harper Valley PTA alive and well

The School Board in Evansville has fired a wildly popular and successful science teacher with an impressive resume for unknown reasons. When the community, students, other teachers, and parents demanded to know why, the Board has refused to aswer. Clearly, politics and power at play. Read the comments too. Quite interesting.

This is so diheartening, but despressingly not surprising.

My friend David Fox was elected to the Nashville/Metro Davidson School Board last year, hoping in bring reasonable and forward-thinking policies to Nashville. (I don't know but I imagine reasonable policies such as "evolution is science and therefore belongs in a science class.") I hope never to read of such backwater controversies from my hometown.

Pull my finger

I don't understand this Japanese(Korean?) web game, but apparently the goal is to time your farts so that the other guy at the bus stop doesn't notice.

Happy Friday to all you commuters.



Pull my Chinese finger cuffs.

Man in Beaver diverted to interstate by Cow

No, really.

Lesbian wrestling

Gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Miss Katt got your tongue?

And you thought your X-grade teacher was strict:

From Monsters and Critics:

Italian teacher cuts off noisy kid's tongue

Milan - An Italian teacher has been suspended by her school in Milan after cutting off the tongue of a lively 7-year-old child with a pair of scissors, daily Corriere della Sera reported Tuesday.

The boy has since had his tongue stitched back but is afraid to go back to school. His parents say he suffers nightmares and runs away whenever he sees a knife. They are now suing the school for damages. The incident took place a week ago but was only reported on Tuesday.

According to Corriere, the 22-year-old substitute teacher threatened the child twice with a pair of scissors before actually chopping it off. 'Pull out your tongue. I'll cut it, and you'll no longer talk,' she was quoted as telling the child.

The teacher, who has only been identified by her initials R S, has since apologized, claiming it was an accident. The school's principal, Anna Maria Dominici, has suspended the teacher and ordered an investigation, saying her conduct could in no way be excused.

waste some time, and feel better about yourself

It's not for the timid, but it is certainly enteraining:

Joe My God recounts his story for the "Worst. Sex. Ever." spoken word performance.

Made for a woman, but strong enough for a man?

From Alert Reader, Medical Researcher, and Occasional Whore Randy Bodin, this just in from the BBC:

Gay men seek 'female cancer' jab
Homosexual men are requesting a controversial "sex disease" vaccine designed to prevent a female cancer.

Gardasil protects against the most common of sexually transmitted infections, human papillomavirus (HPV), which can cause cervical cancer.

But HPV also causes genital warts and anal and penile cancer, and men argue the jab would guard against these.Many private clinics are offering it to men. One in London says it has immunised dozens in the last six weeks.

The story continues, but what amuses me is the accompanying photo. It seems they didn't have any images linked to the story, or anything generally appropriate, so they just ran a file photo of one man handing a condom to another with the caption "Condoms are not guaranteed to stop HPV transmission." I think that is really reaching for the sake of an accompanying image and the article would have been best left text-only.

Overheard at work - 21

A: So I was out to dinner with these old friends and one girl brought along this young guy I thought was totally cute but he thinks he might be gay.
B: How old is he?
A: Twenty-five, and we're in the Bay Area so he should have an idea by now if he's gay nor not.
C: You know there's a pretty simple test for that.
A: Really?
C: Well, the written is fairly easy but the oral is pretty hard.

Hail!

It's hailing again. Tiny bits this time, but it's really coming down.

A comment on yesterday's hail from Anna at MetroBlog SF:

On Stockton at Greenwich the hail on the corner of the intersection had been squished into a tiny little SNOW-like pile. A small snowman was created in front of the Deli there, with little twigs as arms and stones as eyes. About 10 inches tall. Gotta love our snow.

Oh yeah, there was also a landslide this morning (neither Fleetwood Mac nor Dixie Chicks). Anna's take:

Result of last night's weather, SF Gate reports landslide occurring at 3am on the 400 block of Broadway. All they could think of was "Landslide Forces Evacuations?" How about... Stripclub Gets Stripped; Mountain moves to Showgirls; Showgirls Shown Wrath of God; hmm... maybe I should keep my day job. Here we go- inspiration at last- Water Break in NB Stripclub - Customers All Wet

As February fades

so do I, just a bit.

It has been a cold and wet weekend, with rain forecast for the rest of the week. It has been a weekend of the blahs and a bit of the bummed. Yesterday evening I enjoyed a fabulous birthday at the Top of the Mark, but also felt a bit isolated as I appeared to be the only gay, single, or childless (child-free) person there. And seemingly the only person who had not achieved an elevated plateau of professional and financial success. I did the major life re-evaluation and life change thing a few years ago, and I am not quite prepared to do it again. As much happiness as I am able to milk out of life, I still long for that rewarding career-- rewarding financially and emotionally. I feel both blessed and cursed that I can do pretty much anything, and do it very well. I have filled whatever container I have been poured into, but have not found the magic vessel from which I may eternally spring.

Every year I decide that the Academy of Friends function is just a bit too tacky for my patience and not worth the donation, but I end up attending more often than not. This year I stood firm and opted out. I was invited to a private Oscar party and had intended to go after the event at the Top of the Mark, but I needed a dose of happy so I headed to Sundance Saloon.

The crowd was meager but welcoming. The music was very good. But there was little surcease of sorrow as I learned that this week one friend's father died suddenly in a fiery car accident, and another seroconverted.

There is only so much solace in a waltz, but you can hold the ones you care about and give them all you can, if only for the three and a half minutes you have them in your arms.

The Very Model of a Modern Major Citizen

Alert Reader and Total Hottie Keith Hinkle sent me a pdf notice from Nfocus, the magazine of the Nashville Social Scene.

The one sheet announces a spring fashion show event, Model Behavior, honoring community vounteers:



What caught Keith's eye, and again makes me proud, is that the top honoree is my mother:




Props to Mom! She never tells me these things. It makes me want to plan a special trip, and I could see the baby too.

Ginger, Hail

Momma Hardcastle forwarded me a link to the Harpeth Hall alumnae newsletter.

Shout out to my good friend (and regular blog feature) Ginger who is profiled and appreciated therein.

I thought he was a nineteenth-century French playwright

It may have not have registered on your radar, but there has been a recent row over a Newbery Award-winning book and school librarians. The Newbery Award is the most distinguished award for Children's literature, so why would this year's honoree be libris non-grata in schools and school libraries?

The book's heroine is a scrappy (as child heroines tend to be), ten-year-old orphan named Lucky. On the first page of the book, she hears, through a hole in the wall, a boy telling the tale of his dog getting bitten on the scrotum by a snake. "Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much. It sounded medical and secret, but also important."

The book is The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron, and it is the appearance of the word "scrotum" that (ironically?) has gotten Children's Librarians nickers in a twist. Fearful of parental backlash, banning requests or challenges, and hysterical fears that teachers might/will have to explain to a bunch of youngsters what the scrotum is, librarians are actively preculding this book from their collections.

Okay, that's the first "Are you kidding me?" in this saga.

The next, is that this controversy was recently covered in the New York Times.

(Favorite quote, from Durango, Colorado, Sunnyside Elementary School librarian Dana Nilsson: "I don’t want to start an issue about censorship, but you won’t find men’s genitalia in quality literature.")

The next link in this silly chain:

Neil Gaiman, notable author and usual fan if not champion of librarians, weighed in on this issue in his blog:

So normally my love for librarians is unconditional, but recently I find myself inserting a sort of a "but..." in there. In this case it's "But I wish some of them didn't have such a problem with dog's scrotums... or do I mean scrota?"

Then again, I'm English, a country in which "the dog's bollocks" is an expression of approbation and unconditional approval.

There's a book with a dog getting bitten on the scrotum by a rattlesnake in it. It's called The Higher Power of Lucky and is by Susan Patron. It just won the Newbery Award.

Read the whole take--it's pretty funny.

And it is via Mr. Gaiman's blog that we find the biggest "Are you kidding me?" in this whole thing: Because of this ridiculous hullabaloo, someone has taken it upon themselves to make a list of popular and award-winning children's books also featuring the word "scrotum."

The title of this article?

Youth Literature is Filled with Scrotums





I wonder... If schools start setting limits to the number of these titles their libraries may include, will this form of censorship become known as the Scrota Quota?


Update: This story made it to the front of Google News this morning, with a link to 26 other articles on this topic.

Shilpa's boyfriend still running late

Coming as a surprise to no one, the SF Chronicle recently reported that an internal audit has revealed that MUNI doesn't come close to running on time or on schedule.

Muni misses on-time goal
Just 70 percent of buses, streetcars meet schedule

Excerpt:

Reliability was one of the key issues expected to be addressed under Proposition E, 1999's voter-approved reform measure. Voters said that by 2004, at least 85 percent of Muni's vehicles must run on time.

The deadline has come and gone with the goal nowhere close to being met. Nathaniel Ford, who runs the Municipal Transportation Agency, which oversees Muni, said last year after assessing the situation that a more realistic target would be a 75 percent on-time rate -- at least for now. Eventually, he'd like to see 100 percent of the fleet running on time. On time means they show up no more than four minutes later or one minute earlier than scheduled.

Of the 80 Muni lines, only three show up as scheduled more than 85 percent of the time, according to Muni. Fifteen lines break the 75 percent mark. More than half the lines run too early or too late 30 percent or more of the time.

See also The N-Judah Chronicles, which had this to say on the report:

If you haven't already seen the latest statistics gathered by MUNI it's worth checking out. There's some interesting information in there, but there's also a lot of work produced by the No Duh Institute on the Obvious as well.

For example, we find that our N-Judah is #1 amongst streetcars for keeping to the schedule 75.8% of the time. Yay! Then you remember, voters passed a measure (oh how we love our ballot measures) demanding that by now, MUNI would be on time on 85% of bus lines by....2004.

Also possibly of interest is the N-Judah Chronicles' report on the responses from MUNI Management to questions raised at the town hall meeting last fall.

One nugget of good news in there is that NextBus/NextMuni, and presumably the 511 dial-up transit tracking service (aka Shilpa's boyfriend) will be providing information on all electric bus lines by the end of March.

neighborhood watch, or rather, viewed

While in grad school I spent many days at the Canvas Gallery/restaurant/coffee shop at 9th & Lincoln (in the 9th & Irving neighborhood). It is a nice, large, comfortable, sunny space with good (albeit a bit pricey) eats and free wi-fi (and even a few parking spaces!). Later, the Canvas started hosting nighttime events targeting singles (I forgot to mention the full bar). While the nightlife was a bit too straight and cheesy for me, the Canvas is just a great space-- featuring everything from dining tables to sofas by the fireplace, as well as a bar, full menu, art gallery, and DJ booth.

Sadly, MetroblogSF reports that it will be closing soon.

card catalog sold separately

Noted in the e-Newsletter from the American Library Association-- a dark and sinister retail seduction of both my intense and intensely embarrassing semi-closeted Buffy fandom, and my predilections as a librarian.

I am afraid it is only a lack of apartment space and remnants of good sense that keep me from ordering this.

That, and if I succumbed, I would, like, have to move into my parents' basement and stuff.
Frankly, I just think that it is hilarious that this was profiled in the ALA newsletter. And that companies are still making toys for a show that has been off the air for years.

Joint Statement on Censorship and Science

From the National Coalition Against Censorship.

Read this. It is important.

retail therapy

Since Christmastime, ThinkGeek has cut their price on this item in half. Now it's only $30, and PayPal is offering $15 off on $30 if you use their service to pay for stuff online.

I broke down and bought myself one.

Wheeee!

Hey there.

It was a lovely three-day President's weekend, but nothing much to report. Fun was had, but nothing salacious or raucus to share. I only have one rant, but I don't want to give the hack any more hits or visibility than she is already getting for her crappy writing. (Seriously, there are so many talented writers starving for attention in this town, and the Chronicle gives coumn inches and Web space to this loser? What gives?)

Anyway. Just sayin hi.

Pillow Fight Video

There are several video clips of last night's revelry over at YouTube.

Here's mine:

Pillow fight!

It's all over the blogs, and we were there. The great Pillow Fight was a blast! Shilpa and I were too late to play Jane's game, but we arrive just in time for the horn to blog for the pillow fight. Bloggers abound so just do a Google search for "san francisco pillow fight" for all the coverage. Slightly banal newspaper coverage here.

Complete photos and video up on my personal site, as well as via Flickr.

It was pretty hilarious to see various people on muni with their pillows:





We started at twilight (6:00). Helicopters circled covering the event.



A Trauma Team was on hand:

I got into it:


Wilson and Shilpa's Pillow Talk:



The shiny people have it out:



Wilson and Jorge: (pillow biters?)



The San Franciscan version of winter snow: pillow feathers.
(AKA- I think I'm coming down with something.)



Ultimately, the melee winded down:



The young played in the pillow carnage:



And the young at heart made "snow angels":



Next year, Shilpa and I are going decked out like Braveheart.


They may take our teddy bears, but they will never take OUR PILLOWS!!

Lupercalia

Via Jimbo, Michael invited me (and by extension RoMo and Barney)to a toga party. Not just any toga party, but something off the hook hosted by Dan Cooke (and Wayne) in Buena Vista Heights.

From the Evite:

LUPERCALIA IS HERE! FINISH YOUR COSTUME! Don't be shy. Express yourself - the planning committee is going Over-the-Top!

DRESS REQUIREMENTS:
*Your favorite pagan god or goddess (Roman, Greek, Zulu, Celtic, Egyptian, Korean, Norse . . . they're all good!)
*Create your own pagan god or goddess
*Ancient Roman or Greek mythological creature or figure
*Togas will be provided at the door for those out of costume

TRANSPORTATION: We will have a limosine service from the party back down to the Castro, so you won't have to worry about calling for a cab.

THE LUPERCALIA MYSTERIES: The party starts at 7:00 - drift in when you like, BUT DON'T MISS the performance of the Lupercalia Mysteries at 9:30! You'll be sorry if you do!

GUESTS: Any friend of yours who will dive headfirst into the Lupercalia festival spirit with costume or toga and a willingness to celebrate, garage-dance, eat, INTERMINGLE, be merry, and escape the mid-winter blues is welcome. Please bring a bottle of your favorite champagne or beverage of choice to help us manage lubrication estimates!

Clearly, me and mine fall into the "will dive in hread first" category.

Their blurb:

Lupercalia in Ancient Rome!
The ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia preceded St. Valentine's Day, and this year, you should participate in the celebration. In accordance with Roman tradition, the Luperci Priesthood will begin the festival with a sacrifice, after which two young patrician Luperci will be led to the altar, annointed, dressed in goatskin thongs, and then released with goat-hide whips to strike the celebrants (that's YOU!) to ensure fertility and virility in the coming year. The ancient celebration also featured ritual mass dances, performance art, and a lottery in which each young male warrior would draw the names of s/he who would be his sexual companion during the year. You'll LOVE how we've adapted these traditions to modern San Francisco!

And that fromWikipedia.

I was SO impressed. The four stories were decked out from Hades to Mount Olympus. And everyone stepped up! No one was out of costume, and most took a lot of time an effort. There were a lot of Gold's Gym boys who, in my opnion, slacked out by just going as naked as possible with jocsks/loin cloths/pelts. However, they looked really good doing it.

I pulled out my Neptune toga and hastily crafted Neptune's Trident.


(Ha.)

Here's a shot of Barney (as Adonis), JP (in tunic provided by the hosts) and me:


Michael got my prize as he went as the god to whom all San Franciscans pray: The God of Parking:


Other fun shots:


Random Hotties


Hot Bartender Togas


Hades


Mount Olympus


The One I called "Gorgon Zola"


Adonis and Narcissus


Other shots on Flickr.

Overheard at work - 20

a round robin in the hallway, overheard as I was walking past:

"As I recall he was involved in some sort of scandal a few years back."
"What was his position?"
"It was with a female student."
"Apparently his position was on top."
"Not necessarily."
"That's not a foregone conclusion."

Overheard at work - 19

"He is meritorious. He really has changed the paradigms in his field."
"You know I once changed paradigms, but it was only into four nickels."

Cheerleaders in a pyramid

Trying to take it easy on a Friday night, Shilpa and I planned a "Mervyn's Excursion" (shopping for cheesy Valentine's garb) and maybe dinner and a DVD. En route to collect Shilpa, Jeff Baker called and invited us for dinner and games. This made for a great surprise for Shilps as she has a gay crush on Jeff, who is way with the handsome, and we had talked about having them over for dinner and games just that afternoon.

Game night was a blast, but Shilpa and I felt like co--conspiritors. We are so game people, but have never played with each other. Bill and Jeff opened a new box of Pictionary, which was lacking directions. Jeff asked in a pleading sort of way if we knew the game and would be interested in playing. We each answered with retrained enthusiasm, along the lines of "why no, I haven't heard of this game 'poker' but I'm happy to play with you." Generous as we are, we were careful not to partner with each other, as we pretty much share synapses at this point and it would be unfair. We are both quick-witted with the same insane pop-culture references and totally get each other. This makes for good friends and unbeatable teammates (I am reminded of Carrington, back in the day).

Hightlights of the Pictionary game were

1) Shilpa's rendition of "weather," by drawing a five-day forecast grid.
2) Jeff's way of getting to "Chelsea," by drawing a stick figure with big hair next to a man inserting a cigar into a female stick-figure's vagina.
3) I had to get Jeff to say "jerk."

But the main event, was PYRAMID.

I got the DVD game for Christmas.

Oh. My. God.

So much fun! I would have preferred a Dick Clark welcome and the 70's theme-song instead of the "Millionaire" graphics and sounds, but all in all, the game is really well done. And there are (I think) 20 to 24 rounds on the disc.

We ended up playing two rounds, so ultimately everyone teamed with everyone else-- Which meant that the last round was Shilpa and me against Jeff and Bill. I said it was alright if they didn't want us to pair us as we knew each other so well, but Shilpa pointed out that we met just two years ago and we work together--Jeff and Bill have been all but married for years. They should know each other pretty well by now.

Apparently, Wilson & Shilpa are the new Will & Grace when it comes to games. Shilpa is scary competitive. I'm dangerously competitive too, but I try not to show it (and lure them in to my web, heh heh heh). And we have freaky places our brains go for associations, but the other will be right there with us.

In the Winner's Circle, we completed all the categories in less than half the time alotted.

Who wants to play with us?

Please?

Excerpts:

S: My office!
W: Rooms that are hot!
S: A sauna!
W: ...still...rooms that are hot.
S: Damn! Um, a bomb shelter!
W: Places without windows!
S: Yes. Open-heart!
W: Types of surgery!
S: Yes. Meow.
W: Things a cat would say!
S: Yes. A kidney!
W: Things you donate!
Bill: How are you doing that?



Bill had a category he couldn't get Jeff to guess. I went to a little happy place and imagined myself on the television version getting this category. I want to be the guy on all the clip shows yelling "SAMUEL L. JACKSON! MOTHER-FUCKING SNAKES!"

"THINGS ON A PLANE!"

Cool Person of the Ever

Okay, I have some kick-ass characters in my life. I am fortunate enough to know interesting personalities ranging from global leaders (Hey to Bill and Al) to ditchwater trannies and titled leather folk (Hey to Tony and Jorge).

But Jane may be the coolest person yet. I need to get into her game, as it were.

With all of my interests and talents, but still not finding my niche, how could I not know there was such a carrer as a games researcher?

V-day tomorrow

And again I ain't got no honey.

But it seems I can join other SF'ers in a very cool Valentine's Day art/game that would really piss off Boston.

Jealous Astronaut

From local (SF) Interfuel, comes the new cartoon:


The Jealous Astronaut.

Go waste some time.

Bad mood

One of my major pet peeves is poor grammar--especially on news programs and by people who should know better. The most grating offences to me are phrases such as "If I was President..." "If it was up to me..." If that was the case, then..."

Let's say it together: the proper verb form is were.

Statements of condition, and condition in the past require the subjunctive mood. I frequently have to correct this error in communications from my boss. Unfortunately, when when we review these corrections she challenges the change for the only reason that she thinks it "sounds better" her way. She never heard the word "subjunctive" before and makes it clear she does not care. This drives me batty.

William Saffire has a great column on this topic this week. Writing in his column "On Language," he recently committeed the same error, and opened Sundays missive with "All I can hear is the howling of the werewolves."

To prevent the onset of a bad mood, we should use the subjunctive when expressing a wish, making a suggestion or describing a circumstance that we know just ain’t so. A couple of decades back, I rapped the knuckles of Senator Ted Kennedy for saying, “If I was to make a political decision” in withdrawing his candidacy for president. He replied with amused contrition: “The error you cited I have made before — and I was corrected at the time by my mother.” The senator attached a copy of a 1975 note from Rose Kennedy: “Dear Teddy: Please say, ‘If I were President,’ not ‘If I was President.’ The reason is the old, what used to be known in Latin as ‘condition contrary to fact.’ . . . Love to all, G’ma.”

Nashville: Not just English-language Music City USA

From Alert reader and non-Nashvillian Paul Day, a link to an AP story:

Nashville mayor vetoes English-only bill

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Mayor Bill Purcell vetoed a measure Monday that would have made English the official language of Nashville, saying it was unconstitutional, unnecessary and mean-spirited.

"This ordinance does not reflect who we are in Nashville," Purcell said.

The measure passed 23-14 last week by the Metro Council required all government documents to be in English, except when multilingual communications are required by federal rules or are needed "to protect or promote public health, safety or welfare."

Opponents and supporters of the ordinance agreed it was largely a symbolic slap at illegal immigration that had no significant effect.

Purcell said his legal staff had advised him the bill violated the U.S. and state constitutions and would be costly to defend.

His veto seems likely to stand. It would take 27 council votes to override it.

The article continues, and I am proud that the mayor vetoed such a hick measure. But what struck me most in the article was this:

Nashville, a city of more than 600,000, is home to the nation's largest Kurdish community and has been a resettlement site for refugees from Africa and Southeast Asia. The Hispanic immigrant population also has boomed. Researchers say Nashville's foreign-born population has grown 350 percent since 1990.

I had no idea. Next time I am home I wonder if I'll notice all sorts of new Kurdish Cuisine places. I have noticed that it's now possible to get decent Mexican food.

Another overheard

Just some fun to share from Joe.My.God.

The 6 train platform, Saturday 3PM:

Woman 1: I'm just sorry I slept with them.
Woman 2: Well, you were drunk.
Woman 1: Yeah, but now today I'm all red and itchy.
Woman 2: Right? And you can't put anything in there, cuz you'll make it worse.

(Horrified, the women realize I'm standing there.)

Woman 1: Hey, we're just talking about contact lenses!
Me: Lady, I'm just waiting for the train.

Love in the Library

I have a graduate degree in Library Science. I would love to work in a library, research department, or preferably a digital archive. But information professionals are only paid a fraction of their value, and that makes it hard to switch into something new and still make rent.

But I gotta give props to the Librarians (like Foxy) who are on the front lines serving the ill-mannered and often insane public.

From Overheard in New York:

Thug teen: I wanna take out this fuckin' book.
Librarian: Okay, well, go to the check-out desk.
Thug teen: I got to go to the other fuckin' desk, mothafuckah?
Librarian: Yeah, motherfucker. The other fuckin' desk.

--Brooklyn Library

And, appropriately enough, Foxy's most recent post is this:

A junkie in the bathroom asked me to help her shoot up as she attempted to simultaneously wrap a slender piece of rubberized hose around her bicep, tugging at it with her teeth and holding a disgustingly dirty needle in the other hand. I'm nice but I ain't that nice...

A far cry from the romantic Love in the Library...

more bad car-ma

Ugh. My car was ransacked again yesterday. not too much was taken as I don't keep too much in there-- but the losers did nick my iTrip and a bunch of new stuff I got for Christmas like emergency radio, flashlights, and other neat travel trinkets. Not too much is gone, but the experience is really annoying, and violating. At least this time the trunk wasn't bothered, which is where I keep everything.

Today I got an e-mail bulletin from the Police about auto break-ins in the area.

Yeah. Got it.

Maybe that wasn't a diaper that astronaut woman was wearing

Maybe it was a toga.

The first time I had diverticulitis, I was in the hospital for two weeks, and was NPO-- which meant nothing by mouth. No food, no water, nada, zip.

I got better and checked myself out a couple of days early to make it to Kevin's off-the-hook toga party (old flyers/invitations can be seen here).

I am healing from this bout of diverticulitis, which has been thankfully treated out of the hospital with tons of oral antibiotics. I still can't drink alcohol for another week though (it would react to one of my drugs in a dangerous way).

And I've been invited to another off-the-hook toga/Roman God/Bacchanalia party tomorrow night. Limo service to the castro and bartenders and everything.

Maybe diverticulitis is caused by toga party anticipation.

Is it insane that I'm the kind of guy who has a professionally-made Roman god-themed toga hanging in his closet for just such an occasion?

I didn't think so either.

OMFG: The Muppets are coming back to TV!

Seriously, just one day after I ordered these shirts from The Onion.


As noted by Queerty, Muppet News Central reports the following:

The short pilot uses the television syntax of a documentary (think The Office meets The Muppet Show). The series revolves around Kermit the Frog as he attempts to reassemble the Muppet troupe and launch a new Muppet show. The mockumentary mini-series would feature fictional English filmmaker Ian Bascombe who, with his film crew, follow the daily happenings Kermit and the Muppets, both on and off stage. Bascombe finds that many of the classic Muppets have gone off to other venues since we last saw them and follows Kermit as the frog attempts to track them down and get the whole troupe back together.

Kevin is going to emit an actual squeal of delight.


Statler and Waldorf can't f'ing wait!

taking a gag as far as it will go

Shilpa: "...running with it are you?"
Me: "It's like with scissors."

Stressed?

Yet another workplace/stress article has come out. The Guardian (UK) has some suggestions.

Pull quote of the day:

Tests by George Preti at the Monell Chemical Senses Centre in Philadelphia found that female volunteers felt less tense after sniffing armpit sweat, although he has so far been unable to explain the discovery.

Welcome to the show

Mr. Deity!

Hilarious new series of shorts by Brian Keith Dalton are up at YouTube. Mr. Deity and his Smithers-like assistant Larry reveal the nature of the Universe.

Episode 1: Mr. Deity and Evil




Episode 2: Mr. Deity and the Really Big Favor
(the title alone in context is just too funny)



Wait a minute... does that mean Larry is like the Holy Ghost?... no, I guess not. He's clearly an assistant and not "an equal, one-third partner."

Favorite 404

When your browser requests a page that cannot be found web server, the server returns an error number 404 response. This generally manifests itself with the a page reading simply "Error- 404 the page you requested cannot be found."

When searching for a past article on a site today, the web server returned the following:

Error 404 - The page you requested cannot be found.

These aren't the droids your looking for.

Gay Marriage Initiative- Genius

The Washington State Supreme Court ruled (Andersen v. King County) that the state can discriminate against same-sex couples seeking civil marriage because it had a "legitiamate state interest" regarding "child bearing and child rearing." Basically, the ruling stated that as marriage is for producing children, the state has legitimate reasons to deny those who can't have children naturally the rights and benefits of marriage.

So the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance is making Washington state puts its law where its double-talking mouth is, and they are going to choke on it.

from the Web site:

If passed by Washington voters, the Defense of Marriage Initiative would:

• add the phrase, “who are capable of having children with one another” to the legal definition of marriage;
• require that couples married in Washington file proof of procreation within three years of the date of marriage or have their marriage automatically annulled;
• require that couples married out of state file proof of procreation within three years of the date of marriage or have their marriage classed as “unrecognized;”
• establish a process for filing proof of procreation; and
• make it a criminal act for people in an unrecognized marriage to receive marriage benefits.

The way we are challenging Andersen is unusual: using the initiative, we are working to put the Court’s ruling into law. We will do this through three initiatives. The first would make procreation a requirement for legal marriage. The second would prohibit divorce or legal separation when there are children. The third would make the act of having a child together the legal equivalent of a marriage ceremony.

Absurd? Very. But there is a rational basis for this absurdity. By floating the initiatives, we hope to prompt discussion about the many misguided assumptions which make up the Andersen ruling. By getting the initiatives passed, we hope the Supreme Court will strike them down as unconstitional and thus weaken Andersen itself. And at the very least, it should be good fun to see the social conservatives who have long screamed that marriage exists for the sole purpose of procreation be forced to choke on their own rhetoric.

Whatever happened to good manners?

Apparently, Teg Haggard is all cured (Coming soon at The Learning Annex: Only Three Weeks to Heterosexuality!). He's all straight now, planning to leave CO with his wife, is all confused as to why these gays keep having sex with him, and it seems he's writing letters to the Onion about it:

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything-I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

far off Vista

The relasease of Microsoft's new operating system has not only resulted in a collective yawn, but the media had taken a definite turn agains Gates. Gone are the free media rides. Is it because today's reporters all use PCs and have some basic knowledge? Are the reporters themselves considering upgrading and genuinely want to know why they should shell out for new hardware to run the new software, and so are asking consumer-oriented questions? Is it because everyone now knows (but perhaps not yet accepted) that Macs are just better and easier to use?

Is it because the new PC OS is the Mac OS from four or five years ago?

I dunno.

But I do know that Gates et al are failing at playing both the market, and the media.

Best byte:

Apple Envy Seizes Microsoft
This is a really good take on the media reaction as well as the changed world of tech design and tech marketing, to which Microsoft is oblivious.

Regarding TV coverage, and Gates' flailing:
From CyberPsych: Vista not getting an easy time in Mainstream media

Kinda fun:
Open letter to Gates from a guy at the BBC.


And the new Apple ad:

because you're mine, I walk the line

For your diversion this morning:

Are you taking life too seriously?
Have you spent your life enforcing the copyright to the Electric Slide moves?

Then yes.



Thanks to Dave Barry.

up and at 'em

I'm back at work today, a Hell in and of itself, but feeling better.

Just one comment on the whole Boston terrorism freak out last week.

The newspapers and TV-- as well as the freakin' government-- should stop calling it a hoax as, by definition, it wasn't a hoax. Go get a dictionary you morons. It's an ad campaign. And eight other Cities had the same campaign and didn't wig their shit out.

And now they expect Time-Warner to pay for all of the police, traffic, homeland security, and anti-terrorism personnel and actions?

Excuse me, public officials in Boston, you should shell out for this blunder. A random person called in a "suspicious box" because they didn't recognize the cartoon character, and you went all Chicken Little over a dozen Light-Brights.

Their IT department should hand out Etch-a-Sketches as laptops. (Shake to restart.)


Wheaton also has a good rant.

getting better

Saw the doctor. On meds. And resting.

And I'm feeling much, much better.

While it is frustating me to miss three parties tonight-- two with dancing--it's much better than being in the hospital again.

Barney is coming over for a DVD and company.

Thanks for all the e-mails and calls of concern. I'm on the mend, just frustrated now that I am feeling better, but have to stay at rest. I've never been all that good at sitting still.