I have several friends who work in the hospital where I will be having my surgery, and have many promises to come look in on me. However, I am a little worried as I won't be able to talk and am fairly sure I will not be looking my best.
And feeling, oh I don't know, down in the mouth.
Being gay and having all sorts of 'mo' better friends, golden-throated/gag-reflex comments have not been scarce.
Excerpts from one e-mail exchange (clearly from a scientist, and not Dr. May):
Me: [blah blah blah surgery]
JD: But think of the added abilities your newly unobstructed throat will offer...
Me: I'm looking for volunteers for a "before and after" test...
JD: You will have to find many volunteers to reduce your standard deviation when you complete the statistical analysis - may I suggest recruiting south of market?
Which gave me two thoughts:
(1) If one had to go looking for standard deviations, South of Market would be a good place to do it; and
(2) That would be a GREAT name for a bar: Standard Deviations. Or perhaps a leather/adult toy company.
I'm just sayin'.
Update: The idea of finding men on whom I could exercise my current skills and then compare the experience to a post-sugery performance has become known by my friends as "conducting a study," and is used as short-hand for potential come-ons. As when a hottie walks by and someone (okay, usually me) says aside, "Excuse me, I'm conducting a study..."
Last night Barney added the concept of a "double-blind study," in which for various reasons one or both of us would be blindfolded.
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