snappy answers to Swanny questions (Swan Ball 2008.3)

Reporters tend to pepper the fashionable ladies of the Swan Ball with the usual questions about their gown, their jewelry, or their work for the community. But what about the men? A sample of blind items asked of the men of the Swan Ball:

On a scale of “Diana Ross” to “My Wife Made Me,” how excited are you to be here tonight?
• “100% my wife made me. But I always have a good time.”
• “Diana Ross. I’m really looking forward to this.”
• “(whispers, and indicates adjacent wife) Ask me again later.”
• “Open bar.”

You’re Indiana Jones, and you’ve come to the Swan Ball—where do you look for the Crystal Skull?
• “In the artificial moon above the dance floor.” (This was a popular response)
• “Behind the bar.”
• “Over there. (whispers) That woman’s not really pregnant!”
• “Check with Jane Dudley.” (This was the most popular response)

Diana Ross usually does one crazy thing every time she leaves the house. What are you hoping for tonight?
• “I want the big Diana Ross hair. And judging by this humidity, I think we’re going to get it.”
• “She could open with a country song.”
Ooh. That would be cool. What song should she sing?
......“I have to be safe and say XXX’s and OOO’s. That one was written by my wife (Alice Randall).