[Nfocus wanted some typical I'm Just Sayin' overheard comments for their Swan Ball coverage. I came up with some silly questions. Enjoy.]
There were a lot of shoulders at the Swan Ball this year. And while the socials were in fact rubbing shoulders, I am referring to the particular absence of straps. And some of these ladies were, shall we say, ample upstairs. I remarked on this observation and questioned the means of support to Betsy Wills. Betsy went all Zen on me and schooled me in the fundamentals of flower arranging. “In the art of flower arranging, the wires and oasis and supports—the bits that keep the design together and stable—are referred to as ‘the mechanics.’ One is not supposed to be able to see the mechanics.” Bringing me back to topic, she said, “When a woman’s bra strap or support is showing, she is said “to be showing her mechanics.”I did not notice anyone’s mechanics at the Swan Ball, but I was sure they were there. And as I good reporter, or creepy guy on the subway, I smelled a story there. I asked around. (And offered anonymity to those who preferred. Only two ladies owned their answers.)
Looking around there’s a lot of shoulder at this year’s Swan Ball, and by that I mean strapless gowns. So… what’s holding up your bosoms?
• “My smile.” [Late Party Chairperson]
• “Oh Lordy, I’ve got all sorts of hooks and tape in here.”
• “This dress is so tight I can’t breathe.
• “Considering the structure of this dress, they’re not going anywhere.”
• “It’s a strapless bra. But it’s really uncomfortable and by this hour I’d rather be at home having a glass of wine on my porch and not worrying about all this.”
• “Safety pins and tape.”
• “A stick-on bra.”
• “Size.”
• “Fake boobs.”
• “Nothing.”
• “Plastic and skin.”
• “Four Braza’s. I doubled up. And silicone petals.” (Harkness Brown)
From a patron at the Big Ball: “I have about fifteen hooks and eyes making up my corset inside.”
From a first-timer at the Late Party: “Elasticity.” I hope she enjoys it while she can.
Now, if I could just understand what they all meant when they went on about their “spanx.”
Along with lots of shoulder came a lot of shimmer. I asked a follow up question regarding the application of body glitter. No one could give me a clever answer, but all agreed that there was a fine line between “just right” and “too much.” And that one should err on the side of “just a touch.”
Towards the end of the night, I asked Sinclair Kelly “How much body glitter is just right and how much is not enough?”
“I’m not wearing any body glitter.”
“But you kind of are.”
Sinclair checks herself: “Oh my God I am covered in body glitter! This is just from hugging people!”
And we now have our answer to “how much is too much?” Don’t bring enough to share.
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