To: wit.

Commuting with a coworker this morning, we had a little "you first/no, you first" moment which made me think of the brilliant Dorothy Parker moment when a bitchy rival asked Miss Parker to enter the club first by saying, "Age before beauty..."  Miss Parker brightly stepped forward and quipped, "Pearls before swine."

Unfortunately, this exchange was a bit lost on my colleague as she had never heard of the expressions "age before beauty,""pearls before swine," or of Dorothy Parker.

A couple of clicks and references were sent. And I thought now would be a good time for everyone to take a moment for the awesome that was Dorothy Parker (1893-1967).

Dorothy Parker (August 22, 1893 – June 7, 1967) was an American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist, best known for her wit, wisecracks, and eye for 20th century urban foibles.

From a conflicted and unhappy childhood, Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary output in such venues as The New Yorker and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table. Following the breakup of the circle, Parker traveled to Hollywood to pursue screenwriting. Her successes there, including two Academy Award nominations, were curtailed as her involvement inleft-wing politics led to a place on the Hollywood blacklist.

Dismissive of her own talents, she deplored her reputation as a "wisecracker". Nevertheless, her literary output and reputation for her sharp wit have endured.

My colleague's interest was piqued and she read more than the wikipedia page and found another interesting biography. She replied to me, "Wow… She sounds so modern day."

For some reason, in my imagination Dorothy Parker is always played by a young Dana Delany.

Miss Parker is eminently quotable are there is no shortage of online lists of bon mots. These are some of the easy ones which I think give a flavor of her character. Gems.

The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity.”

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.”

“I hate writing, I love having written.”

“Tell him I was too fucking busy— or vice versa.”

“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.”

“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”