Or would you like to swing on a star?

So my buddy Barney was on a phone interview last week. (I know you seem to be hearing a lot about this bloke recently. dunno why. because he's funny I suppose. To answer Barry's and Ginger's and others' question, we are not dating. Just good 'mates'. He's a Kiwi you know.)

Anyhoo, Barney, Dr. Scientist Guy, was on a teleconference job interview with a lab in Singapore last week. He and all the scientists on the other end were talking science and laughing it up and getting along fine. Conferenced in from another location was a woman from HR, who clearly couldn't keep up. At one point she asserted herself with her interview questions, but seemed to be reading from some schlocky 1980s/90s 'interview questions' handbook. After all sorts of discussions of protocols and biochemically designing new molecular drugs for prion disease, she breaks in with, "If you were an animal, what animal would you be?"

Barney was stunned. As, apparently, were the other scientists in Singapore as he could here them stiffling their laughter on the other end.

"A capybara."
The other end erupted in laughter and kept on. He also said that you could hear the HR woman cover the receiver and ask her coworkers, "What's a capyrbara?!"
She never did admit to not knowing what it was.

I will admit to not knowing. (But that's the kind of guy I am.) The capybara is the largest animal in the rodent family. And it's just an odd and esoteric sort of thing to say. It was just silly really, clearly communicating the silliness of her question. I love that he is so smart and so quick-witted as to both dismiss the question and yet impress his audience at the same time.

Later that day at the Metro we were rehashing our conversation with some other friends. Barney had said "Capybara," which made me want to say, if asked in an interview, "El Chupacabra," which is basically the central american version of Bigfoot (speaking of, why don't we hear about Bigfoot anymore?).

I thought that if I were being serious, I would probably say something cheesy like, "I would be an octopus because I do so much I feel like I have eight hands, and I can fit myself into any situation I need to." But I would probably follow up with, "and I tend to ink myself when startled."

When pressed for a reason as to why he would be a capybara, he said, "because they like to lounge around in water, and they eat with their family unit."

Then I offered, "I would be a monkey, because I like to fling poo."
To which another added, "and they masterbate like mad in front of crowds of children and aghast parents."


Or would you rather be a fish?


................................................
All the monkeys aren't in the zoo.
Every day you meet quite a few.
So you see it's all up to you.
You could be better than you are.
You could be swingin' on a star.