lakation

I decided not to take a trip to Scotland this summer as they are busy wiping their backsides with the dollar.

So I'm off for a more reasonable vacation and will be spending the next week with the family at the lake. Pickwick, where Tennessee, Alabama, and Mississippi come together, is pretty rural. It's like an hour to get to the Winn-Dixie. And it's beautiful down there.

There will be no phones, no cell service, and no Internet.

So no blogging.

Y'all have a good week!


It's a Tennessee River Run.

Hit me.

Some time over the weekend the blog passed 50 thousand hits. That's pretty crazy for this silly little thing. I do love doing it though. I need a creative writing outlet, and it's nice to have a forum for my rambling that people can ignore if they like rather than my venting indiscriminately around town.

But hey, 50 thousand hits! At least some of y'all are clearly entertained.

Every now and again I check the blog stats. Part of StatCounter's free services is a log of search terms that lead people to the blog. before the fourth of July weekend I was dismayed to see several visitors had used the string "David Britt murder." DB is a good friend of mine and I had to check to make sure he was okay. It turns out there is an oold case in Tennessee about a murder named David Britt and he got out or was killed or something. It was in the news somewhere, and some interested folks came looking here for information (I talk about Nashville, Tennessee, and David Britt, just not the one they were looking for.)

There have been some other colorful search terms in the log. Like this one:


Who knew someone would look to me for "vagina waxing" salons in Tucson? (And at least technically speaking, I hope it's not actually the vadge that's getting the wax, just the forest leading to the village.)

And just the other day, there was this. You can guess what caught my eye, but I have no idea what page it would bring up.


However you got here, welcome.

And if I ever find myself in a situation involving Robert Redford and a dildo, I'll be sure to blog about it.

San Francisco Values

I'm getting into a lather so I'll try not to harp. I keep getting incensed when the political right tries to scare Americans and smear good ideas like defending the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness by calling them "San Francisco values." Elaine Donnelly, the rep sent from the Center for Military Readiness to the Hill to explain why gays are bad for the military, but the mentally ill, criminal, old, stupid, and frail are good (The military has lowered its standards for all of those categories to dangerous levels-but gay is still not allowed.) started floundering under pressure from congressional interviewers and grabbed for the catch all fear-mongering line "the ACLU and the left, the San Francisco left...""

I can't find the video clip I watched last night, but John Stewart had an excellent recap on his show later:



I've said it before and I'll say it again. San Franciscan values are respect, and liberty and justice for all. America would be a far better place if the Republicans started pushing such values, instead of demonizing them for money and power.

Nanci Pelosi was on The Daily Show last night. And as much as I don't like politicians mostly because they act like politicians, I am proud to be represented by Speaker Pelosi whenever I hear her speak.

And here she does an excellent job of explaining San Francisco Values, and why some use it as a slur. (Video is proprietary to the Huffington Post and cannot be embedded here.)

Beaker!

I love Beaker. I have always loved Beaker. My first Halloween in San Francisco was also my first proper date with the guy who would become my first boyfriend. I went as Kenny (known only to the underground then). He went as Beaker.

And it's bits like this that make me flove YouTube and the Internet.

It makes me so....joyful.



Love to Doug.

(Love I couldn't give you then, I send you now.)

Font of ignorance

I noticed this last year, and thought I was just being crazy. But nope. It's true. Almost all movie posters and trailers are being designed with the Trajan font. I've had in installed in my Mac system for years, and I think I've only used it three or four times ever. Maybe only twice.

But then again, I'm not the apparently lone movie poster graphic artist in Hollywood being forced to crank out 100 posters and one sheets a day and who ultimately just said "screw it" and created a template using a single font and floating faces.

Yeah. I'm not that guy.

I do love this guy though: Kirby, from www.GoodieBag.tv.

"Trajan is the movie font."

doppelgänger, you brought her.

It's such an easy joke. And so lame for its ease. But there it is.

Anyway...

So The Jamez has a doppelgänger. Friends and coworkers of his have been claiming to have seen him all over the place, and at lots of work-related things. It took a while for them all to figure out that half of the James sightings were non-James sightings. But the mystery deepened: who is this Alternate James?

James went to a show the other week where, lo and behold, his doppelgänger was playing drums. Adding to the Twilight Zone weirdness, it was a Radio Head cover band, and James is one of those clinically obsessed Radio Head Heads. Via the band's listing, James found out the guys' name. And it took only a little bit more digging to find out who/what he was at the big G.

We, the fans of James Prime, egged him to contact the guy. Especially Special K, who once spent about 15 minutes talked to the guy on the bus thinking it was James Prime and wondering why James was being all aloof and rude to her and not cluing in to anything she was saying (she called James out on it later and had to say, "That wasn't me." Special K thought she had gone mad.

I found James Sub1 on MySpace via his band.

Here is a randomly cropped odd headshot of James Prime:


And here is a random pic of James Sub1 from his MySpace profile:

You can sorta see it.

What's weirder is that James Sub1 is wearing my glasses!


James Prime ultimately wrote to the guy via the internal mail system:

Hi there,

This is going to be a weird email, but bear with me.

I've worked at [The G] for ages, and a few years ago people started telling me odd stories about seeing me in some random cafeteria but realizing the me they saw wasn't me. Apparently there was a doppleganger on campus. And as time wore on the guy with dark eyeglass frames has been pointed out to me, who wears navy blue dickies jackets and such (like mine), and has the same kind of dark blonde hair worn in a sort of less than, shall we say, combed manner. Which is to say the same scruffy way I've got it.

I've even got a friend who apparently started talking to me on the bus but realized the me she was talking to didn't know her. Which was you.

This sort of thing happens, everyone has someone who looks like them. However last night I went to see Disappear Incompletely at Bruno's. I'm a huge Radiohead fan. And there you are playing drums, named Jamie, and more or less having a similar look to mine. Not to mention playing music that I am clinically addicted to. It was would have been more surreal if I weren't paying so much attention to the music.

Anyway, all that being said you guys were great. Which is the point of this email. I was completely impressed and can't imagine that the band wouldn't be pleased with the arrangements you all have put together. I'll be back out to see you again.

And yes, if you put our two employee pics next to each other you'd think all of my friends need new eyeglasses.

Cheers,
J

I imagine he means everyone needs new eyeglasses except for me. Clearly, James Sub1 would approve of mine.

James Sub1 replied and James Prime forwarded the response, but I accidentally deleted that e-mail. Suffice it to say he was pretty cool about the whole thing. I did not e-mail Sub1 about the frame. That would have been a little too close to stalker craziness I think. But we'll probably take in another show. And get a side-by-side shot of the twins, then pimp them out for DoubleMint ads.

And readers beware: you may have a double out there too.

Which may prove convenient when you chose to ignore people you know on the bus.

I'm just sayin'.

SF still cracks me up

I love this town.

Where else is there a successful street fair dedicated to fetish and kink? This weekend was the Dore Alley steet fair "Up Your Alley," an increasingly popular off-shoot (no pun intended) of the Folsom Street Fair, which has become so large, bridge-and-tunnel, lookie-loo, and tourist-laden that it is considered rather tame for an S&M street fair.

Usually Dore is full of lots of fun crazy stuff. And lots of flesh. I co-captained the Rodeo's beer both, which this year did more business than the other beer booths combined. All I can say is "Man! It was cold!"

Freezing fog really put the kibosh on a lot of frolicking. At a fair where men are expected to wear next to nothing-some doing it better than others-- it wasn't just a concern for shrinkage, but hypothermia. I overheard one person in the crowd mutter, "It's a tough day to be a nudist."

And yet, the same day that several city blocks were cordoned off to celebrate healthy sex and eclectic interests (and raise truckloads of money for local charities), just north in Union Square New York's Naked Cowboy was arrested for singing in his skivvies.

Three words for you Naked Cowboy, from one naked cowboy to another: "Location, location, location."

This is SF. Locals don't bat an eye at outlandish costumes or lack thereof (this didn't even make the local papers--only the NY Post). But don't pester and don't perform permitless (pantless is fine) and don't panhandle in the central shopping district.

Be as naked and as cowboy as you want. We celebrate whoever you want to be. Just don't push it on others. You're free to be who you want to be, and they are free not to be bothered by it.

I get this is how you make a living, but it just sort of reduces you to a panhandler with a gym membership and a slightly more colorful angle. Panhandling is forbidden in Union Square. For SF, you're not considered colorful. We've got brighter birds than this. If you want to sing for your supper, try the subway, or Market Street, or the seedier side of the theater disctrict.

And seriously, I'm a member of the Bay Area Chapter of the Golden State Gay Rodeo Association. We know from naked cowboys. This look? Not so much. Boots and buns do not a naked cowboy make.

MobileMe still frakked, but now Apple admits it

For friends and readers curious and/or still frustrated over the clusterfck and failure of the Dot Mac transition and MobileMe launch, there are several articles this morning regarding updates from Apple.

It seems that the hundreds of thousands of angry posts on Apple's (and other) discussion boards have finally hit a point home to Apple: they need to communicate to their customers, particularly the customers they are failing, what the heck is going on.

Apple has now admitted that there are some problems, and some other serious problems, but they promise it is getting better, and--a first for Apple-- are taking steps to keep people informed.

Apple has launched it's own "blog" of sorts with updates regarding the functionality of MobileMe. The page is basically just one poor Apple soul who has been tasked with updating the blog at least every other day with what's finally working and what still isn't.

The Mobile Me Status Page

MobileMe news roundup (all short pieces reporting much of the same things):
Wired News: Apple Opens Up About MobileMe Mishap
BetaNews: Apple: Oops, some MobileMe e-mail lost forever
PC World: Apple Begins Opening Up About MobileMe Problems
The New York Times: We’re Really Sorry, Says Apple, Really We Are

poker?

Maybe poke-him. They are certainly not five card studs.

They are, however, hypocritical closeted politicians with power you need to mock.

The Gay Republican Hypocrites Playing Cards, with all of your favorite right-wing hypocrites, liars, and all around abusive douche bags.


Perfect for playing Crazy Eights, Old Maid, and Texas Hold 'Em.

via The Gist.

(Note: "holding 'em" is actually illegal in Texas. So is the Texas Reach Around).

you can't beet this

Amy Winehouse is scary.

And her farmer is as hot as dell.

Birthday shouts

Happy birthdays to Alert Reader Paul Day, whose birthday was the 22nd and is milking it all this week,

Barely Alert But Avid Reader (But Not Of This Blog) Papa John (my dad) whose birthday was also the 22nd.

Tasty Friend of the Blog Jon Glassmeyer, whose birthday is today,

and the So Handsome It Hurts But He Knows It Chuck, whose birthday is coming up August 2nd.

[And whose photo has been redacted]

Lordy Chuck, are you turning 40 this year?

Hi, My name is Darien.

And I'm here to help.

from The Comsumerist:

7 Ways Your Public Library Can Help You During A Bad Economy

Crafty

I wish there was an Etsy Lab in SF. Seems like the place for it.

Etsy Lab: creative people creating things.

Creative New Yorkers should find their child inside and let it make something cool.

From Laughing Squid, this Etsy Lab video on home, inexpensive screen printing:

Gay around the Bay - July 24 2008

It's Thursday already, and Thursday being the new Friday and all, here's some fun faggy bits to help you plan your weekend:

Tonight/Thursday

• Castro Fashion Walk/Beer Crawl starting at 6:00. All clothing/fasion retailers are participating, and there is some sort of beer-participation to benefit Under One Roof. Also sponsored by Energy 92.7, who has the info online.
• Opening reception for the Fun, Frolic & Fetish exhibit covering the history of the Folsom Street Fair, 6:00, LGBT Historical Society, 657 Mission Street, Suite 300.

Friday

• An Evening with Mitzi Gaynor, hosted by Bruce Vilanch at the Castro Theater
• LGBT Night at the Giants Ballpark (play ball!)
  

Saturday

• Bearracuda's Underbear pre-Dore Alley party, Deco Lounge, Larkin @Polk, $6, 9:00 PM to 3:00 AM
• Bay of Pigs—the official fetish Saturday night pre-event for the Up Your Alley/Dore Alley Street Fair
• Sing-a-Long Les Miz, 8:00, Octavia Lounge, $15

Kevin and I are going to the Les Miz thing, which is handily the gayest of all of those options. And that's saying something.

Sunday

• Dore Alley Street Fair—now formally known as the Up Your Alley street fair
  
  I'm Co-Captain of the Rodeo's beer booth this year, so come in through the 10th and Folsom entrance and stop by (bi?) and say "hi." We're the first beer booth right as you enter. I'll have been there since 8:00 setting up so if I am bleary-eyed it's not pharmacological.
  

And as usual on a Sunday, pick your dance groove:

• Play at the DNA (find tickets in advance)
• Fresh at Ruby Skye ($20)
• Sundance Saloon at 550 Barneveld ($5)

that explains the anklet

I must have been tagged.

You too Coco.

And others.

You know who you are.

(Just not how you got there).

From Gizmodo:
Researchers Create Computer Models of Staggering Drunks to Aid City Planning

A team of Welsh scientists have spent long nights camped out in a busy nightlife neighborhood of Cardiff from 11pm to 3am with one goal—studying the way Welshmen stagger when they're shitfaced in order to build an accurate computer model of the phenomenon. They aim to use their data to help city planners design streets that are safer for late night revelers.

Click through for animated gifs comparing crowd walking behavior as a function of sobriety (or rather, lack thereof).

The original article is in the New Scientist, but it requires a subscription to access.

Vision Quest, now on Gay-per-View

I've never seen Vision Quest. I've never been a Matthew Modine fan either. I don't hate him. I don't like him. I just don't really care one way or the other.

I remember people talking about the movie though. An I remember the silly cover box always on the shelf when I used to actually go to a physical place to rent a movie. But I've never been tempted to watch it.

But I had no idea that this movie is so gay.

Now I'm wishing I had watched it as a teenager. Or maybe not. I was such a desperate, throbbing closet case already that it might have pushed me right over the edge.

From My New Plaid Pants:

...But if all that isn't gay enough for you to understand this is one of the gayest movies ever made outside of hardcore gay porn, the movie crams in fucking Madonna!

Gay! Gay! Gayest gay to ever gay! Also, Daphne Zuniga!

My gaydar just went Chernobyl, y'all.

knew iWas waiting for you

Apple pretty much hoarded all of the iPhones for themselves, allotting only a pittance to AT&T to sell through their outlets.

Unfortunately for me and many existing customers, because of my (our) existing account type, Apple's requirement that all phone be activated at the time of sale, and Apple inability to access activate many types of existing AT&T accounts, I can only get the iPhone from an AT&T store.

Which have all be sold out since the morning the thing went on sale.

A week later, AT&T started taking pre-orders. Or rather, pre-sales. You have to physically visit an AT&T store, and pre-pay for the phone. When the next shipment gets in, you get one of those (although some are calling it direct-ship, but I don't think the fulfillment chain is shipping iPhones one at a time).

So I did that last week. Ponied up the $330 and began to wait.

The Cult of Mac reported this today:

AT&T has authorized stores in its Northern California region to begin taking iPhone pre-sale orders with a promise of 72hr availability, according to the manager of one of the region’s busiest stores. In an email sent to store managers this morning, the wireless carrier said stores could promise customers they would have a phone in 3 days if they sign up for new service or upgrade their eligible hardware in-store and pass the requisite credit checks to establish a new two year service contract. Customers get a call from the store in three days when their phone arrives and are required to return to the store to complete service activation and pick up the handset.

So I called my local "Northern California" store. The clerk knew nothing about this. Neither did the manager. Pre-order sales were estimated to arrive in 20 to 30 days. A far cry from the announced 72 hours.

The first clerk checked the status of my pre-order, which is listed in the system as "pending." No one could tell me what "pending" meant. Ultimately, a manager guessed that it means that the iPhone hasn't shipped yet.

Duh.

But with all of the reported glitches in the iPhone 2.0 update anyway, I'm okay waiting for the 2.1 fixes to be released.


Image from Cult of Mac and Top Muffin, which I think is genius.

downwardly MobileMe

Apple's launch of MobileMe and the transition from Dot Mac continues to, well, suck.

Luckily, my problems have been minor. ButI don't even have an iPhone yet, and those information services rely on MobileMe.

The Apple support discussion boards remain extremely active with MobileMe complaints.

Now that grand and revered tech reviewer Walt Mossberg of the Wall Street Journal has weighed in. Generally Walt is impressed with the quality and experience with Apple products.

And Walt calls Apple out for this fiasco. The headline: Apple’s MobileMe Is Far Too Flawed To Be Reliable. His final words: "If Apple does get MobileMe working smoothly, it could be a terrific service. But it’s way too ragged now."

See also: the awesomely annoyed site FailMe.

(From whom I grabbed the image. Located at the wonderful domain name: failmeismorelikeit.com.)

Ay Photo!

How have I missed this before now? Coolest browser plugin ever. PicLens.

Quick screen shot:


OMG. Go check it out.

Make it work!

We've become those people who have parties just to watch a TV show.

And we're gathering for a fun night of Project Runway tonight. What makes the fun? Other than the silly people and the booze and the crazy-ass drama that is sure to ensure on Project Runway?

It's Project Runway Bingo! (aka PRINGO) Designed by The Lovely Shilpa.



And we're going to take moment to plug the awesomeness that is Apple's Pages app. Now that design/word processing app puts Microsoft Word to shame.

See Shilpa's Project Runway Bingo goodness in this flickr set.

viva la revolution!

We are under attack more than ever before. The United States government continues to take away more freedoms from its citizenry than any terrorist or axis of evil ever could. Soon, we'll have no civil liberties left. Privacy rights are almost gone (see also, FISA).

It's time for a revolution.

And who's leading the charge?

The American Library Association.

Another reason to flove librarians.

The "ALA's new privacy rights initiative is intended to inspire library patrons to stand with librarians as they fight to usher in privacy standards in the digital age."

ALA Privacy Initiative Concept Paper: Rallying Americans for the Right to Information Privacy (PDF)

Check out the videos too, including speakers from Wired, BoingBoing, and others.

sit Ubu, sit.

It's no homage to Steve Irwin, but Midnights for Maniacs is sponsoring an all-day, five-film festival this Saturday at the Castro Theater.

The theme: animals killing/eating people.

It's like Midnight Mass all day. I don't know if I could drink that much.

It starts out with 'secret desert lab plagued by super-smart ants' flick Phase IV, followed Alligator, Jaws, Day of the Animals (wherein all of the animals band together against the people), and finally Piranha 2: The Spawning, directed by that low budget B-movie hack director James Cameron. (The piranha's fly in this one.)

If you are just too tired of spending your weekends doing all the cool stuff that happens all the time in this City, and the fog has rolled in, then pack a bottle of something strong, get yourself a garbage-can-sized pail of popcorn, and drop yourself into a plush seat at the Castro Theater for an all day pet show gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Flying piranhas huh? Not nearly as scary as the Peruvian Flying Pike. Those monsters will turn you into a trout-craving Zombie.

if you work in downtown SF today

take a look out the window.

It's the annual parade of tall masted ships on the Bay and under the Golden Gate and Bay bridges: aka The Festival of Sail. Think "swashbuckling."

I used to watch this when I worked in Embarcadero Center 4, on the 36th floor with a towering and unobstructed view of the Bay and points east and south. It was a sight to see.

For those on the ground, you can tour many of these ships for around $10, as long as they stay docked. Sailing cruises cost more.

It makes me wish I had little to do and an office downtown again. I think getting a bite from the Pier 1 Deli and lunching on a pier sounds like a great idea today. And the weather is pretty perfect for it.

Pictured: The HMS Bounty, built in 1960 for the film of the famous novel. The Bounty has an interesting history (even if recent) and has had starring roles in Pirates of the Caribbean and, of course, Sponge Bob Square Pants, The Movie.

Check out the other participating ships here.

And if you have the time, check out the event schedule, which is summed up rather nicely by the SF Gate: After the Parade of Sail, the ships will tie up at three "villages" - one at Hyde Street Pier, one near the Ferry Building and one near Piers 30 and 32. There will be private parties, public tours, excursion rides, mock sea battles, black-tie dinners with ships' captains and classes for would-be pirates.

Fun for the whole family.

Halloween planning may be scary

but at least it looks like the City is planning something other than crying "please stay home" again. But I don't think a party in a parking lot is going to do it, especially if the City charges for admission.

From the morning Chronicle:

Last year, officials rolled out a campaign telling people to stay home for the holiday, and urged Castro businesses to stay closed. While the campaign was successful, Supervisor Bevan Dufty said his office and the Entertainment Commission wanted to create "an event that brings San Francisco's different cultures and community together."

To that end, the Entertainment Commission hired an events manager, Laura Fraenza, last month. Fraenza, who previously worked for the promotion company Bill Graham Presents, is currently planning a large event in the stadium's Parking Lot A.

The event will include an early evening, free gathering for kids and a more adult-friendly, paid event later in the evening, which will feature local musicians and artists. Details are still being worked out, but Fraenza said she is talking with cultural centers, youth groups, and people involved in Carnaval and Burning Man.

Granted, I've never like parking lot city-sponsored parties as they tend to feel like your mom planned the prom. But my crowd isn't exactly what they are trying to tear away from the Castro. The locals aren't the issue. So if the Castro isn't local for the target audience, maybe the ballpark parking lot will be just as if not more convenient. Here's hoping.

Full article.

the bulls are girls

but don't call them cows.

We had our own little running of the bulls last week.

In New Orleans, there was a much larger event, and the part of the bulls was played by roller girls with horns.



Love the open container laws.

Via Laughing Squid.

duck and cover

or was it "stop, drop, and roll?"

There was also "say no, go and tell." And it was really important not to get those two confused.

Today in a company-wide e-mail, tips on how to manage a worksplace shooting spree.

Seriously.

There's going to be a presentation next week. ("NOTE: This presentation includes audio and visual displays of actual campus shooting scenes. Due to the graphic content of these scenes, viewer discretion is advised.")

The body of this notice included the "the five steps for survival during a shooting incident." They are:

1. Escape
2. Cover
3. Hide
4. Play dead
5. Attack the attacker (last resort)

Yeah. You can just rock me to sleep tonight.

I'll have a wry Martuni

Kevin and I had tickets to "Broadway with a Twist 2" Thursday night. Painfully, painfully bad. We had to walk run out at intermission. We had free tickets, which were exorbitantly overpriced.

Kevin and I took our need for a show and cocktails to Martuni's. I had to jot some overheards down on a napkin so I could remember to blog them later.

Kevin and I sat at the piano and enjoyed Jason and Tiffany (shouts). We also surveyed the random singles in the bar (men sitting by themselves) and pondering if they were looking, enjoying being alone, or perhaps shy. Backstories were imagined to the showtune accompaniment of the pianist.

Me: His body language scares me. He looks really uptight.
Kev: I think he's cute.
Me: He looks like a serial killer.
Kev: He looks like a stripper?
Me: Serial. Killer.
Kev: Maybe he strips before he kills you.
Me: Oh my God. We have to write a musical about a stripper serial killer.

Later, we were joined by others, who shall remain nameless:

A: I always like this bar. It's always got a different crowd.
B: Has anyone ever stumbled out of Martuni's and into an orgy at the EconoLodge across the street?
[silence]
A: Other than you?
B: I can't be the only one.
C: I had to take a cab. [to my post-Martuni's orgy]

aaaaaand scene.

Bush Library is to Oxymoron

I imagine that "fill in the analogy" question on the SAT's one day, in the creative thinking section.

The Bush Administration is so corrupt, they can't even raise money for the presidential library without breaking the law.

From The Times (UK)

In the spirit of Sacha Baron Cohen the Sunday Times of London arranged and recorded an interview between a leading GOP activist Stephen Payne and two men thought to be acting on behalf of the exiled former president of Kyrgyzstan.

Payne, who also sits on the Homeland Security advisory board, is heard offering meetings with high-level officials of the Bush Administration in return for a hefty donation to the Bush Presidential Library. For somewhere between $600,000 and $750,000, with about a third of it going directly to the Bush library, Payne promised face to face meetings with a variety of Bush's cronies.

"Cheney's possible, definitely the national security adviser [Stephen Hadley], definitely either Dr Rice or . . . I think a meeting with Dr Rice or the deputy secretary [John Negroponte] is possible ...The main thing is that he [the Asian politician] comes, and he's well received, that he meets with high-level people . . . and we send positive statements made back from the administration about 'This guy wasn't such a bad guy, many people have done worse.'" said Payne.

Keith Olbermann has coined this latest fiasco Library-Gate and the House Oversight and Government Relations Committee lead by Henry Waxman has begun to investigate. In the meantime, the White House is distancing itself, Payne was fired from the Homeland Security advisory board and a Bush spokesman for library foundation said that no additional monies will be accepted from foreign sources while Bush is still in office.

And all this just for one copy of The Pet Goat?

Oh yeah!

Scott Van Den Plas noted a crumbled wall and rushed back to his computer to make up a little awesome.




How much do I love this?

(Answer: lots of much.)

Speedyjvw's photostream.

what becomes of the Plush?

EaterSF reports that the Plush Room will become a new restaurant by the Food Network's Tyler Florence.


Tyler is pretty, tasty, and one imagines,

pretty tasty.

memories, like the corners of her mind

Shilpa brought in some rockin' biryani for lunch today. It smells awesome. Tastes even better.

Sharon Across the Hall, blond and white like the winter snow, stepped into the kitchen for a taste. "It smells like childhood memories!" she exclaimed. We just looked at her. "You know, if I grew up eating this."

"It smells like childhood memories...just not mine."

But I kind of get that.

Shilpa's biryani does smell like love.

if aviaries are for birds

Then this summer in San Francisco must be January. (I know the tourists think so.)

Shilpa and PeeDee were over the other night and watched the SubLime video on AppleTV. As you may recall, this video heavily featured the wild and crazy Jan ("Yahn") who is Dutch but lives in Dublin and is in town for the summer on a Google campus international exchange thing. (Which explains how he knows Marta and Geraldine, who are also European and work at Google Dublin.)

.
He's only been here two weeks.

And apparently Shilpa and Paul were tearing up the Badlands with Jan last weekend.

Small world.

Small town.

American idol

Our favorite resident kiwi is now an American Citizen!

Congratulations Lance!


(Barney, we still love you. You are our favorite non-resident kiwi.)

And dyslexic protestants prefer it doggy style

Last year some guy made a beefcake calendar of Mormon missionaries. I believe they wore clothes in the calendar, but the cover boy was one hot shirtless missionary.

The Mormon behind the calendar now faces excommunication. This story was covered in the gay blogs last year and again with this new development, basically because it combines hot guys, semi-nudity, and church hypocrisy, which is sort of the gay news story trifecta. It has also earned blurbs in the mainstream media for the same reason.

But I think the Australian press is having the most fun with this story. Or at least the copy editor who writes the headlines is.

Mormons make missionary position clear

I'll now imagine headlines such as "Altar boy surprised to find tulips on his organ."

if you like to make fun of white trash

then this video is for you. (CNN)

It's got so much: obese parents, obese kids, a "my baby was playing with the pit bull when it grabbed him by the face and threw him in the kitchen" story, a fist fight with the neighbors, really, really bad clothing choices, and a teenage girl flipping off the news camera.

If that kid has scars on his face, they won't be nearly as deep as the scars on his psyche.

Dot Mac to MobileMe

The transition of services from Dot Mac to MobileMe was supposed to take a couple of hours last Wednesday night. Instead, it took almost a week to get things running right, and there are still some issues to be resolved.

Honesty and communication from Apple during this snafu would have been appreciated by their subscribers. Discussion boards were aflame with irate posts.

Today we get a bit of a mea culpa from Apple, and a month of free service to smooth over those hard feelings.


Charles Jade over at Infinite Loop explains why it's too little, too late, and still not enough.

Tea time.

Now I know what the Tranny Man puts in his tea.

("But what does he do with the tea bag?" I hear you ask?)

Via Alert Reader Paul Day.

SubLime

After recovering from my run with the bulls, I met up with RMJ at Lime where we were invited to send off the lovely Marta and Geraldine who were returning to Europe Dublin that afternoon.


After several hours of bloody marys, vodka, and then bottomless mimosas (wishing we had known about those sooner), I turned to Marta, "Oh my goodness!" I said, looking at my watch. "Don't you need to hurry to catch your flight?"

"It doesn't leave until after eight o'clock tonight."

"I thought you said you were leaving this afternoon."

"We are."

Arriving at 12:45 for a 11:00 brunch with the Latins I was right on time. My new lesson in continental time keeping: "Afternoon" begins around 4:00 runs until 8:00 or 9:00 at night, which begins "evening." "Night" is much, much later, and is when you go out for dinner or entertainment. Or to feast on the blood of the living. It's not entirely clear.

What is clear is that, at least chronometrically speaking, these are my people.

Favorite line of the day, regarding a person who dated someone in the office to a disastrous end, but is now attracted to someone even hotter who also works in the office and is beginning to go out with him:

"So the lesson learned is this: You can't date sexy men in the office. But you can date sexier men in the office."

Juan Carols and Love-My-Mariah-Mocha were there too, as were new friends both foreign and domestic.



Mocha, Marta, Dale, and Geraldine
Shouts to Jan, who has just arrived in SF on a Google sabbatical from their Dublin office. He himself is from Amsterdam (and Lieden. LOVE Leiden.)



Robert, Jan, and Juan Carlos
You'll see more of Jan later in this post. And of course a special shout to Juan Carlos who was our able ambassador to this weekend's international events.

After endless rounds of endless mimosas, some of the crowd got a bit groovy.


And then, the runway struts began.

Through the restaurant.



Fortunately, the crowd got into it. We would pull random hotties of both genders up from their tables to show what they got. Everyone worked it.


Another reason I love SF.

Another pleasant surprise was meeting a fellow Phi Gam (aka Fiji).



Wilson and Phi Gam Sam
We never would have known if we both didn't happen to put on old Fiji shirts that day. It's a small world, even domestically.

Finally, here's a video of the day.

And again, thanks to Juan Carlos, love to Marta and Geraldine, and shout to Sam. And, you'll see why in the video, a special round of applause for Jan.



Look for the couple that exchanged wardrobe during the party. It should be obvious. At least on him.

And as usual, there is a higher quality video in the gallery suitable for sharing or downloading. Photos in the gallery here and on flickr.

snidewalk sale

On my way to meet the Euros and RMJ at Lime Saturday morning, I was repeatedly waylaid by friends on the street. I stopped at a sidewalk sale to take some snaps and was bear-hugged by a friend who was "co-hsoting" the sale.

I stopped and got out my camera because there were a few things that made me think "only in San Francisco."

Oh, you know, typical rummage sale items, like used sex toys including a harness, collars, ball gag, and catcher's mask.


(There is, after all, some precedent for this sort of thing.) I did wonder if the catcher's mask was some sort of sex toy pun. And I have to wonder too: did they get any takers for the second-hand "make a dildo from your own penis" kit?

I'm just sayin'.

Also on sale, various rubbage VHS tapes, including gay porn.

And perhaps most San Franciscan of all:

Leather lederhosen bundled with a VHS copy of The Sound of Music. Got to love it.

And since I managed to work lederhosen into the conversation, I get to post this photo just e-mailed to me. Sent from one friend at "The G" taken from the corporate newsletter, featuring an embarrassing photo of another friend with her co-workers who for some reason are all wearing lederhosen made from construction paper.

I don't know what that is about. And think I don't want to. But I will point at her and laugh.

Because I am that good of a friend.

Gilda the bad witch

I got a surprise visit the other day.

After she left I was a bit stunned.

A companion was dismayed that she missed seeing this mythical persona.

"What was she like?"

[minute of silent consideration]

"Rosanne Rosannadanna."



Unfortunately, NBC clips don't always work in Firefox for Windows. If you have trouble, try another browser.

topical

I seem to have gotten a bit scatological in the catalogical today.

But as long as we're on the topic of poo, and poo-treatment, there's this handy little portable device for pooing while you picnic. Something some Brits are calling, and I am not making this up: The Shit Box.

I'll spare you the cutesy photo. Click through for cartoony cardboard toilet goodness.

Feist-y

Just wonderful.

Feist counting to four on Sesame Street.



A little noonish adorable to help you through the day.

(My favorite lyric: One, two, three, four chickens just back from the shore.")

morning view

Seen on my walk to work this morning.

"This dog owner sux."

I was just grateful for the colorful warning as I was lost in my iPod. That was some nasty dookie. Almost as big as the dookie who didn't clean it up.

that's pretty crappy

I mentioned earlier that there is an initiative to rename the sewage treatment plant after George W. Bush.

Now it appears there's a bit of a backlash.

Not from Bush supporters mind you, but from people who don't want to sully the good name a sewage treatment plant, which actually does some good, with the name of George W.

Said one of the founders of this commission: "If you get to the point where people are defending the sewage plant, that’s a sign that things have not gone so well."

Now that shit's funny.

another library caves to pious prude

Granted, this case is a bit more, well, sticky.

The Bloomington Library pulled its copy of Shortbus from its shelves. It isn't cleear but it looks like it's not even available by request.

I never understand people who want to ban or ban access to books and media. If you don't want to read it, then don't. And just because someone is reading something, doesn't mean they have to agree with it. Reading about World War II doesn't make one a nazi. I believe book-banners and censors are simply terrified of ideas. It's a failure to be able to think.

I think Shortbus is a great film, and that Cameron Mitchell successfully made an engaging, interesting film with human sexuality as a theme (as, like it or not, it is in all of our lives) but it was not a movie about sex. That was sort of his point.

A library patron complained and the library removed the DVD from the library. I'll go so far with the 'community standards' thing, but it is the libraries' duty to have something to offend everyone. And if someone wants to view it, they should be able to. The hypocritical prudishness of the MPAA and censor-happy Americans is also something the film was standing up to. I enjoyed seeing it in a crowded house in a formal theater. It was not seedy.

This is perhaps what galls me the most:

Bill Swearingen, of Bloomington, had complained about the movie. He said he was pleased to learn of the results.

“I think that’s great,” Swearingen said. “I’m not a prude but it really was soft porn and to me I don’t see why it should be in the library.”

The film went out if its way NOT to be porn. Not even close. There is nudity. There is sex. There is graphic sex. And three-ways. And a young dominatrix that lives in a storage unit. And someone manages to ejaculate across the room onto a Jackson Pollack. But there was nothing salacious, scandalous, or remotely prurient about it. Again, that was the point.

This was soft core porn on the same scale as roman sculptures and child birth videos. "Sexually graphic" does not equal "porn." You see what you want to see.

Bill Swearington, you have just proven that you are a prude. Because you don't understand something, doesn't mean you should keep others away from it. Stick to the Young Adult section. Although I fear that you'll think that's porn too because it is labeled "adult" material.

With six awards and five nominations worldwide, clearly many others think the film has merit.

I'm not saying it should be shelved next to Shrek, and I wouldn't show it to my niece. But I would show it to my nephew. (That's an age thing, not a gender thing.)

The shame here is on the library board for rolling over. And not into the wet spot. This was an opportunity for education as to why a library should have a diverse collection. They failed their patrons twice.

Bull Run

Friday night I got tickets for Lance & Greg (they are an ampersand now), RMJ, and me for the Kinsey Sicks show "Wake the Fuck Up America!" (spoofing the television morning program format as the framing story for this show).

The day before, RMJ sent out this e-mail:

Hola gents ..
quickly now .. but excited to join you boys for some Sickly Kinetic
laughs & political humour manana.
Wilson, you met my friend Juan Carlos .. he has invited us to join him
for a Spanish patron saint fiesta tomorrow after the performance.
So latin .. but I do not have all the details just yet ... and I do
say that with love.

Anywho... the reason for mentioning this now, in honour of the Patron
Saint, todos will be wearing White ... Lance&Greg, hopefully this will
excite you, since you must still be freshly dressed in your Majorca
winning whites from Wimbledon!!!!! (oh my golly!) ... Federer is not
so bad in white either. tho my eye is on Novak.

Ahh. .. to be accessorised with a red bandanna ....

too easy, but Wilson, post-Aussie-glow, perhaps there are a few red
bandanas in chez Wilson's? Again, said with love.

Anywho .. will follow up .. wanted to plant the seed. I will happily
pick up 4 bandanas in hopes it works/you'd like to go!

Besos.x

Gay Greg had the most genius response:

I eagerly await the translation of this text.

I, moderately fluent in Robert Michael, translated.

Basically, we need to wear white to the show because we are invited to a Latin Patron Saint of Something party afterwards..

And bring a red bandanna if you've got one. If not, RMJ is willing to shop.

Being from Tennessee, I have two or three at home. I know I have at least two. I'll check.

And I don't have any white pants, but have white shirts. Unfortunately, my best white shirts are western, and combined with the bandanna will look a little ho-down-y.

But you can't keep a good ho down.

I'm in.

Upon further clarification, it was a Pamplona/Running of the Bulls-themed party, and RMJ sent out a photo of what attire we should aim for.

I want to take a moment to respect that RMJ sent a photo as an attachment to an e-mail. For him, that is a serious technological achievement, and I want to applaud that.

Knowing my friends as I do, I did not e-mail a reminder to Lance & Greg. The odds of their costuming, or being up for a late night of carousing with an unknown crowd, were slim.

On the other hand, knowing RMJ as I do, when he askes that I show up in costume, I do. I've learned to run with it. And if anyone knows the value of an invitation, it's RMJ.

Unfortunately, not wanting to park at Civic Center I decided to take MUNI, which of course meant that RMJ and I went to the show in costume.


The party was, of course, wonderful. Our host was the energetic and adorable Bernardo, who is also, as far as I could tell, the God of all things Google Geo. The rest of the guests rounded out a who's who of Google, Apple, and Ritz Carlton Half Moon Bay. Topically, I would not be hurting for conversation.

However, and forgive me if I mangle names through the rest of this post, I may have been the only one there who was non with the hable.

As far as I could tell, Bernardo was the pied piper of this merry band. Roberto (as he became) and I were invited along as friends of Juan Carlos (whom I met at Pink Saturday). I got to meet Juan Carlos' other half Albert, and possibly the guests of honor: Mocha, Marta, and Geraldine visiting from Spain.

I was very glad to have followed my costume request without question. We brought it, and were well received for doing so.


I also had to love Juan Carlos' and Albert's accessories: They only could find one bandanna between them...


so they cut it in half for the outfits.


I also want to celebrate Bernardo's newfound love of Apple technology, evidenced by iPods, docks, iPhones, and most centrally, the AppleTV...


...on which we were able to watch all sorts of Running of the Bulls videos streamed directly form YouTube. Very cool. I love mine for this sort of instant and contextual entertainment, and it was nice to see it invoked elsewhere.

Inspired and intoxicated, we went out into the cool Noe Valley night,


divided into runners and bulls,


and had our own version of Pamplona.



Many thanks and muchas gracias to our host Bernando!

He's already blogged the night, and you can use Google translator to get the idea.

My flickr set is here.

And for your viewing pleasure: a little video montage of the night. I tired to find and download a good Spanish (i.e. from Spain) dance track to go with this. They were playing some really awesome music at Bernardo's. But a search of the current hits in Spain reveled Rihanna's Please Don't Stop the Music at number one, and all the others were soulful ballads and not party music at all. I tried the Rihanna track first, but this one seemed so much more peppy.

And, you know, in Spanish. Even though Gloria is from PR.



A higher-quality version for sharing is located in the gallery.

Robert and I joined a bunch of the Spaniards Saturday "morning" at Lime before their flight left in the "afternoon."

But that is so much another post.