au revoir

In other sad news, I have just learned that Barabara Ann Felch, Madame Felch, passed away this week too. Madame Felch was one of my favorite teachers, and taught me French from six-years-old through fourth grade, and continued to be a teacher and personal friend through my academic career and adult life.

Mom called me last night, and Ensworth included this in the alumni newsletter which just arrived in my inbox:

Ensworth was saddened to learn of the death of Mrs. Barbara Anne Felch, former faculty member, on March 29. "Madame Felch" taught French to generations of Tigers from 1970-2009. Visitation with the family is Fri. Apr. 5, 4-6pm and Sat. Apr. 6 at 10 am preceding the memorial service at 11 am, all at Westminster Presbyterian Church, Nashville. Sons J.W. ('90) and Thomas ('94) are Ensworth alumni.

Au revoir, et merci pour toutes les leçons.

missing Mees

I've just heard that brilliant designer, Emmy-winning Star Trek TNG decorator, and all around fine person Jim Mees recently succumbed to cancer. I worked with him on my first ArtRageous as I was just coming out in 1996, and am grateful to have called him friend ever since.

Cheekwood and the Swan Ball will be paying tribute to his legacy in Nashville.  Take a quick look at his IMDB credits to see where you have seen his hand over the past 40 years. Credits run from One Day at a Time and The Jeffersons, through his steallar work on Star Trek TNG, Voyager, and Enterprise; up through Gilmore Girls, Private Practice and Bones.

I just noticed he also worked on Women's Murder Club, which was a short-lived and terrible LA depiction of SF. My good buddy Helena Lamb was the Assistant Director on that but I enjoyed seeing her credit. I wish I had noticed Jim was working on that too as I would have loved to have gotten them together socially.

I am grateful that he shared his diagnosis and condition with the Swan Ball committee last year. We had fallen out of touch since his "retirement" to Pennsylvania, and I was able to write him a heartfelt letter of affection and appreciation before it was too late. I am very much conscious of not leaving important things unsaid, and I am glad I had the opportunity to put pen and pensive to paper.  57 is far too young to go.

This e-mail came through about an hour ago via Mom from the Swan Ball Office. Jim was the designer of several Swan Ball events, and was the man behind the 50th anniversary ball last year.

Dear All Chairs of the Ball,

We have lost a bright spot of brilliance in our Swan Ball Productions. Jim Mees, Emmy Award-winner famous as the set decorator for the "Star Trek" series, and wonderful fellow, has passed away. Jim led the production teams of 12 Swan Balls and lent his creative genius to the process of creating the look and style many of us wanted to achieve. He brought humor and energy to the task. After many Swan Balls, he came to fully appreciate and admire our mission and intention, and he grew to love our beautiful Cheekwood too.

Jim's service information to date is included here with information about flowers and memorials: His service will be at the Salem Lutheran Church in Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania on Monday, April 8 at 11:00 AM. The local florist in Selinsgrove is Rines Florist 800.993.1953. In the event flowers are sent, Jim's wishes are that they be yellow, green and white.

Sassy Carroll is going to the service and has let us know that donations can be made to Cheekwood in his memory.

Jim: A toast to you dear friend! Thank you for bringing your special style, flair, and unparalleled sense of scale to our Balls. You are much missed!

Sincerely,

Cathy Jackson

For my Trek fans out here, here is the Star Trek interview (video) with Jim about designing for Star Trek (unfortunately, I can't embed it), and his entry in the official Star Trek Database.

And the celebratory obituary at Star Trek.com.

Update: This was just posted minutes ago to the Hollywood Reporter.  Go read it.

Jim Mees: man of style and grace.  Thank you.  And cheers to you.

a life full of living

Saturday afternoon we said our tearful farewells to the truly wonderful Prashant Hangal. Much love, much appreciation, and many tears.




The Storm's retiring of Prashant's number, and the subtle tribute installed at the bar was a nice touch.

Services for Prashant

Our dear friend Prashant Hangal died suddenly two weeks ago:  Here is the information on the local services.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

1:00-2:00

HINDU SERVICE

This service will be conducted by a Hindu priest and is intended primarily for family, close friends, and those for whom Hindu tradition and ritual are meaningful, but all are welcome.

LOCATION: Sullivan's Funeral Home, 2254 Market Street, San Francisco, between Noe and Sanchez Streets.

PARKING AND TRANSPORTATION: There is parking for 30 to 40 cars available in Sullivan's adjacent lot, and cars may be left there throughout the entire afternoon. The number of spaces is limited, however, so local attendees especially are encouraged to carpool or take public transportation. The funeral home is located midway between Church and Castro Muni Stations.

***

3:00-4:00

WESTERN-STYLE MEMORIAL SERVICE

This memorial service, hosted by Prashant's San Francisco friends, will serve as a remembrance of Prashant and a celebration of his life. All are welcome.

LOCATION: The Rainbow Room, 2nd Floor, LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market St, San Francisco, at the corner of Market and Waller Streets.

PARKING AND TRANSPORTATION: Street parking near the Center is scarce. There are a limited number of parking spaces for our use at Sullivan's Funeral Home (see above). It is a 15- to 20-minute walk from Sullivan's to the Center. Again, local attendees are encouraged to carpool or take public transportation. The Center is midway between Church and Van Ness Muni Stations, and both Sullivan's and the Center are served directly by the F-line street car.

4:00-6:00

RECEPTION

The reception will immediately follow the memorial service on the 4th Floor of the LGBT Center. It will allow guests to mingle and informally share memories of Prashant. All are welcome.

If you have further questions, please contact honoringprashant@yahoo.com

*****

PRASHANT L HANGAL MEMORIAL FUND

A memorial fund has been set up in Prashant's name. Money collected will be donated to San Francisco Opera in the Park, the SPCA, and/or other causes important to Prashant. Donations can be made to the  "Prashant L Hangal Memorial Fund" (Wells Fargo account  number 1330786136) by online transfer, by deposit at any Wells Fargo branch, or via PayPal:

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=WTCKCMQLVUDWJ

Donations will also be received at the memorial service. For details, contact Steve Ciarametaro at stevencia@earthlink.net.

not okay

Just hanging out tonight with quality time on MLK Day, then we got a text. Prashant, wonderful friend, super guy, and ridiculously fit, died suddenly today while on a softball league trip to Las Vegas.

Too many thoughts, none of them good.

I expect the happy memories will come later. Not it is all sudden incomprehension. And the logistics of a friend die while traveling with you...I can;t stop thinking of me as caretaker in their place and the added onus of management to visceral grief.

Prashant Hangal. Great guy. Young and happy and healthy. And now gone. Incomprehensible.

Not okay.

brief candle

So, there was this today.


There is much out there about Tod from those who knew him better so I will leave the eulogizing to others. While we were more acquaintances than friends, his close friends are my close friends, and he always greeted me by name with a smile and a laugh and a light in his eyes. My times with him were always social, so I never got to know the deeper side of him, but he was always such a delight to be around.

I am saddened, and moreso troubled by this.

New Year's Eve he worked a full shift at the Powerhouse, filling in for someone who canceled, left the bar around 2:00 to 3:00 in the morning, took a cab to the Golden Gate Bridge, and three himself off of it. A young, handsome, popular, fit and funny guy with a loving family, an adoring partner, a San Framily complete with a little brother and apparently demons we couldn't see and an impulse control issue which badly coincided with that morning's events. His good friends were at my New Year's Day party, and none of us yet knew.


The memorial/celebration was appropriately at the nightclub BeatBox, and was well attended by friendly and beautiful faces. And the testimony of his mother and partner ripped my heart right from my chest and tore tears from my eyes. (Although hearing the suburban straight women try to explain rainbows to a crowd of gay men was a bit much, and the proselytizing about Jesus and The Church by one aunt to what she seemed to be calling a crowd of Godless heathens was, I think, inappropriate to the service and those who loved Tod, and the room full of those who managed survive long enough to escape a life of biblical abuse to make their own families here.)

He was just 25. I didn't comer out until I was almost 25. I didn't move here until I was 26 and feel I have lived two more lifetimes since then. To die at 25 is just far too soon.

His untimely death is made so much worse by being of his own doing. I learned from loss long ago never to let important things go unsaid. And I am speaking of love and affection even moreso these days, and holding those close to me ever closer.

Love y'all.