"Clean up on aisle 4."

No, wait. That mess was me.

A long night ended at 440 last night. After all, it seems for me that Thursday is the new Saturday. It should not have taken empirical data for me to know that it is dangerous to mix wine, vodka, and bourbon. Even if it is not in the same glass.

Seriously with the messy.

440 is a great place to be messy and anonymous—not so great to be messy and run into old friends, two exes, a colleague, potentials, and the one that got away.

Lee will be over in the morning, and I'll be hosting him all day until the night's long litany of entertainment begins again.

If I survive Sunday, I'll share about last night.

Woe.

statistical model

Alert Reader Paul Day is ready for his close-up.

Are you?

(Would I actually have to use an HP product?)

can you picture that?

Even with its occasional glitches, I think iPhoto is the best personal photo organizing app out there. And I must say how much I love Apple's integrated suite of iLife.

One of the great things about iPhoto is creating and ordering your own photo albums and such. I used to order prints and keep albums of events or portfolio-quality images, but it is so much easier to use iPhoto to create and order photo books.

Assuming I ever make time to design the damn things.

I wanted to start making annuals—collections of all the fun shots taken over a past year. Now that I am blogging, and that Shilpa and I have become Flickr whores, I have almost too many photos to organize. I wanted to have a book of 2007 in time for the New Year's Day Black Eye'd Pea Chili Party, but alas.

At Christmastime, Apple sent out an e-mail with a coupon code good for 20% iPhoto books and calendars. The code doesn't expire until the end of February, so I figured I had plenty of time.

Lo and behold, the end of February is nigh. And I stayed up until 2:00 last night putting together a collection of 2007. It came to 96 pages. Which is good, as there is a 100 page limit. Even with the discount, 96 pages gets expensive.

Now that I have put in all that effort, and relived the entire year through photos, I am impatient for my books to arrive. I did say books. I ordered three: One for me, one for my family back home (less than 10% offensive content), and one for Barney in New Zealand.

2007 was sort of The Year of the Barney, and the close of the year saw his departure for the homeland. Appropriately enough, he video Skyped me while I was laying out the shots from his going away party.

Anyway, I'm excited for my books to arrive in 7-9 days. (Excuse me, they will ship in 7-9 days.)

The coupon code was widely distributed so I'm sure it will work for you. You have until February 29 to make and order your books.

Book code: NAWinterBook08
Calendar code: NAWinterCal08

Go have fun!
_________________________________________________________________
Can you picture that?

mush!

While we're on the topic of canine fragility: Alert Reader and Dear Cousin Barry told me last night that Liza's (her sister, also a cousin) husband's father (aka father-in-law) bought an adventure at a charity auction, and is taking his son (Liza's husband) and his grandkids (Liza's oldest, Clare, all of five) for a ride on a stretch of the Iditerod.

This sounds so very cool.

No pun intended.

Clare is riding on Laura Daugereau's dog sled (meet the dogs!) as part of the part of the Idita-rider program. The race starts in two days. Again, Clare is five years old.

According to the official website, current temp in Wasilla, Alaska: 27 F, -3 C.

Sled-race-chill factor I'm sure will be colder. Liza is having a hard time outfitting her child for this. She left REI exasperated as no one could begin to offer help because they couldn't get past the idea that she had a small child participating in the Iditerod. It's not like "her little pink fleece is going to cut it." (Says cousin Barry.) I'm thinking she's going to need some sort of animal skin for this.

pup, sickle

Reports of puppy love and loss from the Handsome Keith this week.

Monday morning, I received this e-mail:

Well, she’s been rather elusive from the camera so far but here’s a link to the photos I’m collecting during Bindi’s first week at her new home.

What a cutie! :)

Which, clearly, she is.



Sadly, just hours later, we received this e-mail:

Everyone, I’m very sorry to have such an update after, in a fit of excitement, yesterday I shared visits with some of you and this morning I shared pictures of Bindi, my new puppy.

I took Bindi to the vet today and he gave a prognosis that wasn’t good: she most likely has hydrocephalus (commonly known as “water on the brain”). There is no inexpensive way to determine definitively at this time if she has it, though the vet is inclined to think she has it. If she does, it’s a progressive disease and even after some serious medical bills, it will most likely, eventually, take its neurological toll. By the way, this is a congenital condition that’s found in all toy dog breeds.

I have struggled with a dilemma today. So it is after much thought and sadness (yes, after only 24 hours of enjoying her company) that I most likely will return her to the breeder in exchange for another, healthy, female Boston Terrier. I will not be able to adopt a new one until March 22nd. Of course, I will be sharing photographs of the new dog (after I clear her medically).

Bindi is sleeping in my lap, right now. She is so adorable and I will definitely miss her. It makes my decision easier to have learned that, if I return her, she will be able to lead a great life with people who care for cases like hers.

Thanks for being there for me. And please keep Bindi in your prayers…

Ow.

break me off a piece of that kit kat bar.

Last year, someone went all existential and removed all the Garfield dialog from the Garfield strip. The result was actually really pretty funny.

This year, someone has gone one step further and removed Garfield all together, and not the strip is way funny in a very different way.

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.

I love this.

Wheel of Morality

turn turn turn, and tell us the lesson that we should learn.



I miss the Animaniacs.

postcards from the edge

As long as I am in a recently Carrie Fisher mood, I thought I would share two very different messages I received this week.

The first is from XYZ:
************************************************************************

A quick hello from the very beautiful, and very big, Apple of them all!

Classic XYZ, but the hotel approved by Corporate's budget was more Kathy Griffin and the D-list than I could take ...

I checked out this morning with a letter to the editor (and/or General Manager) ... you know, raised by a mom (aka sect.of consumer affairs in Boston) just might make this more a stream of consciousness than effort.

anywho ... fast forward to the ZEN!

a few phone calls .. some tips from travel, and/or The Jefferson ... i negotiated a same rate on Madison at the New York Palace (always has been one of my favourite buildings) ... and lovely Irvana, hooking me up with a lil suite and bubble (actually singular) overlooking the gorgeous twin spires of St.Patrick's cathedral..... i don't know if many know, but where I was confirmed and RM Patrick Joseph born.

this amazing city of some 10 million +, clearly there is chaos, and every turn to frustrate and antagonize, even for the most kind at heart, and sincerely trying to be low maintenance ....

-ordering avocado with my turkey at a (now known) kosher deli ... NOT
-taxi driver looking for a sexy restaurant on the 40 block of - MacDougal, but on the 140 block (no english there ... AT ALL)
-cutting thru times square for meetings (in Madrid, che error!)

and then ... there are places like the Palace, that once the The comp bubble is expired, and the request is made by yours truly for a simple pre-Opera aperitif, white, pref. Kiwi from Marlborough (lil toast to Barney & Craig!) ... absolutely unknown to me, but now known, there was not one in the house & chilled ... they sourced one from Lexington, and i now am drinking & wi-fi-ing you-vous with the most heavenly pre-Die Zauberflote mozart savvy blanc possibile!

i am speechless ... and the sun setting over this amazing city... a calming grey-clue sky, contasting the lit up offices of the gorgeous tall buildings framing St.Patrick.

i am running late for the Opera .. the major one that has eluded me for years ... both in San Francisco, and also in its birthplace (home & opera haus) in Salzberg ... The Magic Flute .. and the incredible anticipation of the Queen of the Night! I am beside myself.

BUT ... i was really inspired to quickly document the moment and the night ....

Yes ... said before, but I am in love!!!!!!!!

What would you say .,... IF ...

In conversation at the G Bar in Chelsea, meeting a lovely man ..

ok..first the non verbal .... looks lil like Ralph Fiennes, 6'3, shoe size .. Prada large custom

-work - scientist ...... (peace out to beautiful UCSF/Stanford-ies)
-know who Stan is
-hobbies include kayaking, snowboarding, hunting, and swimming
-Speedo collection!
-Swimmer's master class coach
-wearing single vent tailored suit & tie (tho i do prefer double vents & relief textures to roller screen silk prints .. but he is open!)
- his best friend, there at G, also from Boston, and family summers in Georgica Pond -- next to neighbor to Calvin (well, he lost the house in the divorce) ... absolutely crazy story to share with future bubbles of Calvin in Bangkok getting laid ... get this...wearing THilfiger underwear!!!!!!!!!! the irony put me on the G-floor! and the other details as well........mama.... very cool best friend ... oh, and VERY BOSTON .. .in the most therapy-friendly way ..... 3 questions absolutely asked .. and only after the third hour, and answers suitable, getting to the delicious East Hampton dirt!

ok,ok,... now the taxi is here ... .i was saving the favourite sentence for lsast .......
me - where are you from?

MasterSpeedo- "I was born in Berlin .... but I summered in ..." oh heck, i don't know the word, but when asked where, it was Denmark.

His parents are Danish.

Not to mention, the second favourite quote ...me - "are you a military guy? ..what does your father do?"

MasterSpeedo --"well ... actually very top secret. even i don't know much . but, he is one of the top nuclear resources in the world. If the US were to engage in WWIII, he would be the second person they would call"

Quite fun to make a [X] fun science reference that he quite enjoyed, and/or knew personally.

Can't tell you how many sparks fly-d.... put out there wkend in Fire Island, then he with moose hunting (actually, more like just shooo-ing them off the property) with dad in remote Alaska in June! so Girls Next Door! he didn't laugh, but hopefully you enjoyed Mmme. Heffner taking his 3 'wives' to her hometown in Alaska!

ok....i am trying to document the moment and reach out to people i love & miss with crazy Corporate work schedule the past months.... xxoxoxoxox

************************************************************************
And the second is from Keith (text message):

"I'm watching a gay documentary called "Do I look fat?" as I drink beer and snarf m&m's."

Very different lives my friends lead.

And mine is so much more on the Keith end of this scale....

Both guys crack me up.

bipolar bear

Yes, I do realize that I just posted two seemingly opposing posts. First I am enraged against oppression of gay couples. Then I am enraged against the hippies in the Haight.

Am I a liberal or a conservative?

Does this make me conflicted? Inconsistent?

No.

the people in my neighborhood

There is a "neighborhood organization" in my neighborhood that has a frightening degree of power, despite a lack of support from the actual residents. This is the Haight-Ashbury Neighborhood Council, or HANC. I have grown to HATE the HANC. Mostly because of this. (A topic that sends me on an entirely different rant.)

Basically, the HANC is a buch of old hippie throwbacks. Yes, this is Haight-Ashbury. Yes it was the home to the Summer of Love. But that was almost fifty years ago. Get over it. The world has changed, and so has the neighborhood. By all appearances, the powers behind HANC are people who moved in under rent control for $150 a month (one-bedrooms are now around $2,000/month), or bought their houses under $50k back in the day (a two-bedroom house in the Haight runs over $1.5 million these days, easy).

Real estate is not the same, the residential make-up is not the same, camping in the streets should no longer be "cool."

Basically, the HANC is all-loving and thinks it is a God-given right for the anyone to camp in the park, beg/streal for drug money on the street, and defecate in my doorway. Seriously. (They had to take out the garden hose behind my building because the end was regularly covered in shit. No joke.)

Being "Homelessness" in Haight-Ashbury is not what it was in the 60's. And drugs are no longer wuite so cool. HANC seems adamant that the Haight be a home for the lost and no one should harsh their buzz. By all appearances, HANC seems clueless that these aren't love-children basking in the park taking a toke. These are crack and meth freaks, and shouldn't be given stipends to "live free in the Haight." I pay a fortune for my little studio. I've lived in the neighborhood for over a decade. I consider myself a member of and investor in the neighborhood. And living near Haight-Ashbury hasn't made me a hippie, but the polar opposite. (Lordy, I am so freaking far to the left, but in this neighborhood I'm considered a right wing.) I've only heard HANC espouse neighborhood opinion, but never solicit it. If I had more time, I'd try to infiltrate the "coalition" and renovate from the inside. Word among the young (30s) in the neighborhood is that many have tried. ("They tried and failed?" "They tried and died.")

I love the Haight. I love the freedom and funkiness of it all. I love my freaks. But hip-to-be-homeless and aggressive crackheads need not be part of the quilt.

I've gone on this rant because there used to be a grocery store in the neighborhood. I didn't shop there much because I would spend more time in the check-out line than shopping. That, and the place was so overrun by Golden Gate Park campers and street trash, cleanliness was a serious issue. The wise purchased produce elsewhere.

This store closed down a couple of years ago and has laid vacant ever since. Building anything in SF is a nightmare of zoning, City wheel-greasing, and endless neighborhood counter-interests. Not to mention that everyone has an agenda and will stall anything to get their way.

I had heard rumors on the (Haight) street and the MetroBlog SF reported yesterday that a Whole Foods is attempting to renovate the corner:

There will be a public hearing this Thursday (2/28) to discuss the results of the EIR for the new Whole Foods expected to go in at the site of the old Cala Foods Market. This location has sat empty for the past couple of years while the community debates what kind of development befits the area. Whole Foods has come forward with a proposal for review. And guess what, the hippies hate it and the yuppies love it.

Count me in the yuppie camp. I want I clean grocery store on the site of an old, dirty grocery store. I'm such scum.

The MetroBlog post says that the Haight-Ashbury Neighborhood Coalition (naturally) is against it, but that the Haight-Ashbury Improvement Association is for it. I hadn't heard of the HAIA before, and their website is pretty useless.

However, I might take a late lunch and go downtown for the hearings this Thursday. Better yet (now that I've read that web page), I'll just tune in via the computer.

the sunshine hate

To all family and straight friends reading this blog. THIS is why marriage equality is important.

It's not "gay marriage," it's just "marriage." As long as the state governs marriage, there are no valid religious arguments to support denying same-sex couples access to a legal state of marriage.

Using this case in point, I'd go far to say that advocating against marriage equality makes for a very bad Christian.

From Dan Savage's blog SLOG in The Stranger (Seattle): The Sunshine Hate.

revenge sex is best

At first, I thought this was pretty f'ing funny:



But this, THIS, is just f'ing HILARIOUS.



(And how can I get in on that action?)

Chatty

"You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle."

-Groucho Marx, in Duck Soup

small world

Worlds collide. Tonight Little Big Chris, in New York, managed to crash a birthday party that I was invited to.

I've always said, "It's a small world, but it's built to scale."

And happy 40th Harald!

77 Below

And I thought I was The Enabler. After all, it says so on my cards.

I was all ready to take a night off when Coco convinced me to have another night out. Granted, it was to see 77 El Deora, and it was at Café Du Nord, so it did not take a lot of arm twisting. But I so needed a disco nap between work and play. Unfortunately, laundry took priority. It was late and I was dead by the time I got to the club, but a basement of fun quickly perked me up.

Lots of my favorite planets aligned Thursday night: 77 El Deora, Jeanine, Kate, Coco, Du Nord, dancing, batshit crazy, and booze.

They are playing again in about half and hour at Thee Parkside so I have to put off these stories yet another day.

Briefly:

• Shout out to FishStix and I hope your finger has healed.
• Shout out to David O'Connor and we need to see more of you out and about!
• "Coco, this is CooCoo. CooCoo, Coco."
• "Ambient sex."

and...

"Damn! I wish you were straight."
"I hear that a lot...... Usually from my parents."


______________________________________________________________________________________
For those of you unfamiliar, the event space of Café Du Nord is a basement, hence the title of this post.

life in reverse

I feel like I've got some sort of existential Othello game going on. My life cycle is solid in the middle with opposite spaces on the ends, and it could reverse, or perhaps should, at any moment. I spend Monday through Friday completely booked. My work-days are crammed and I stay late almost every night, but the long days are followed by longer nights. Come Saturday, if there is not something scheduled on the calendar, I gleefully shut myself off from the world and enjoy the company of myself and solitude until the next week begins and the cycle renews.

Shilpa Patel and Paul Day at the De Young

This makes for lots of blogging material, but no time to blog. So here I sit and jot some stuff down before starting my social week again.

In about an hour.

And what a week, or weeks, actually, it has been. Kevin and I raised a toast the other night: to our friendship and to San Francisco. Where else in the world could we have enjoyed the following in a single week:

• ballet
• symphony
• a fine-art museum party with internationally famous musicians and DJs
• high drag
• trashy drag
• a city-wide pillow fight
• dinner with old friends
• dinner with new friends
• an amazing one-woman show by Princess Leia
• an amazing two-person/six character show
• a party in honor of a dear friend held in a dark leather bar hosted by leather royalty, the Sisters, porn "stars," and a State Assemblyman
• drinking with the actors after an ACT performance
• schmoozed by a producer
• live music
• country dancing
• international cuisine
• cocktails at a mansion high in the center of the City
• hitching a ride with an internationally known photographer
• getting molested during the Bear Rendezvous
• and of course, beginning these things with happy hours and ending them with late nights and getting way more attention than I am accustomed to.

I love San Francisco.

Click to embiggen.

And I am exhausted.

Guest, the Vanishing Randy Taradash, and Kevin Koberle

Add to this that Kevin has a boyfriend and is taking voice, ballet, and acting classes in addition to working full time, and you understand while we don't see each other as much as we used to.

I was so glad to greet the freezing rain this weekend. I spent all day yesterday curled up at home with no pressure to leave—I even bailed on the first Improv Everywhere San Francisco event (San Francisco Freeze) as I had no desire to play in the cold and the wet. I opted for a long lie-in, followed by cooking, talking to friends on the phone, and curling up for hours with blankets and coffee and a stack of DVDs.

I used to feel like a loser if I had no plans on a Saturday night. Now I feel like I win.

On the Netflix this week:
• Ratatouille
• Catherine Tate
and for super 70's fun:
• The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries, Season 2
(featuring The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Meet Dracula!)


Before I go, a big shout out to Little Big Chris. He's had some serious thinking to do this week, and a big decision to make. He's become a friend, and I feel like I have become a good older brother sort of character in his life. Not that we've ever really met, so this is sort of unusual for me. Maybe I'm behind the curve, but he's the first friend I've made over the Internet. Chris, of course, met his boyfriend (and future husband) over the Internet, so this is not anything out of the ordinary for him.

And to think we are both children of the 70's, if only technically (I was born in '70 and he in '79). Thankfully most of our pop references overlap.

Best of luck to Chris! Take heart and boldly go.

Wishful Drinking

The SFGate has a pretty good (fluffy but amusing) review of the Carrie Fisher one-woman show Kevin took me to last week. It reminded me of how creepy perfect she does her mother's voice.

One of the main points, which she gets and thankfully her daughter gets, is that having a batshit crazy family can be comedic, and you sort of have to make it comedic or else it's tragic. I've learned to laugh at myself and my family, although my family is just (mostly) funny ha-ha nuts. Kevin's got some serious crazy-nuts he turns into funny-nuts.

To which he would likely say, "Heh heh heh... You said nuts."

(Yes, we are twelve.)

Carrie: "If my life weren't funny, it would just be true. And that's unacceptable."

Tonight Kevin and I have an Out with ACT event: The Blood Knot. I know nothing about the show, which is how I like to go in.

new pistol for the Lone Arranger

University of Illinois develops free, easy-to-use web tool kit for archivists

CHAMPAIGN, Ill. — Archivists at the University of Illinois Library believe they have built a better tool kit.

Their new online collections management program called Archon has more than a few attractive features – not the least of which is that it was developed for “lone archivists with limited technological resources and knowledge,” said Scott Schwartz, one of the developers of the software program and the archivist for music and fine arts at Illinois.

The state-of-the-art tool also is free, adaptable to any institutional setting and is easy to download and use.

“We wanted our application to be particularly useful to small, one-person repositories that have been unable to take full advantage of current tools under development,” Schwartz said.
[snip]

“But what really makes it special is that it makes an archives’ holdings much more accessible to its users,” Prom said. “The program automatically creates its own searchable Web site. It’s based on extensive research about how people search for and use archival materials.”

read the rest

more for your friend flickr

I've been using the iPhoto plug-in Flickr Export for uploading my pics to Flickr, and that's worked pretty well.

ArsTechnica and TUAW announced a new iPhoto plug-in for uploading photos to Flickr: Free Flickr eXporter.

I haven't tried it yet, but it does have one clear advantage over Flickr Export. As the name implies, it's free.

So for my new iMac and iPhoto users, and you know who you are, give it a try and tell us what you think.

that'll do

"So it's not that you want to befriend him. You want to be-friend-with-benefits him."

bizzare love triangle

I'm such a good friend. Upon hearing a complicated romantic entanglement, I could offer no help. But I'm just sayin':

"You know, that's an amusing position to be in. You know, for those of us not inside it."

sounds reasonable

Overheard at lunch:

"She doesn't do any girl-on-girl action in public because it ruins her makeup."

General Pubic

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

What are you lookin' at?

James just got an iPhone from work. He's loving it. And texting me every few minutes. It's like he's live blogging the experience.

And he's impressed with the Web browsing, so I'm leaving him a message for when he checks this page out.

Hey James!

The Great San Francisco Pillow Fight 2008

I am running out the door to meet Alert Readers for a Friday Night at the De Young, but I wanted to get the pillow fight shots up before I left.

Alert Readers about to get smacked.

It was a great night, but I was rushing to meet Kevin et al in Berkeley for the show, and while I thought it would be fun to do the pillow fight first (Shilpa and I having started a tradition) the experience left me quite disheveled and covered in dander.

And a big shout out to Fun Sean, whom we met on the MUNI ride down there.

Some fun shots:



And a guy with his Burning Man bike-- tricked out with flame throwers and accoutrements for roasting marshmallows. That was fun.



We were all, without being tarred, quite feathered.

theater queens

Last week we closed down the Plush Room. Kevin took me and Kelly to the final performance in our favorite space: The Plush Room. Added bonus: the performer was the fabulous Varla Jean Merman. (This show was Varla Jean Merman Loves a Foreign Tongue. Hilarious.)


I had actually seen the show earlier in the week as I had gotten tickets with Javits. This show was a surprise theater present from Kevin (we do that), so I didn't know what I was seeing Saturday night. Good for me, this show bears repeat performances, I was excited to see it twice.


Also, the more nights in the Plush the happier I am. And considering the venue and the performer, it was like going to a nice gay cocktail party where you run into many friends. Although the mid-week performance had far too many exes boys I would just as soon not see again.

Luckily for me, Saturday night, the farewell performance for the plush also featured some of my good friends who are no strangers to the room—as often in the audience as on stage.

Jorge Hernandez, Ron Jenkins, Steve, Sean Ray

Mary sheds a tear.

And last night (Valentine's night, and after the pillow fight) Kevin took me (and Shawn and Kelly) to another surprise show, Carrie Fisher at the Berkeley Rep doing her one-woman show: Wishful Drinking.

Now this was SUCH a Wilson and Kevin show. And I don't have the time to wax on about how entertaining the show was. It will just have to suffice to say that I loved it, and it was made so much the more fun by seeing it with my co-conspirator who totally gets this sort of humor, and understands why tragic family stories can be comic.

The show was full of good one-liners, but for the life on me I can't recall one at the moment. The chalkboard of her family/Celebrity Inbreeding 101 was genius, priceless, and hilarious.

Jim Myers Lives

And in fact did join us for brunch last Sunday. Coco and I were prepared for another nice day without Jim. Another lovely morning at Harvey's in the Castro.

And I was fresh with a new haircut myself.

Last Sunday, Coco and I discovered the joy of Mandarin Greyhounds, but opted for a little more brunchy grapefruit juice mimosas. Two glasses cost about as much as a bottle, so we just did that. Although we were a bit dismayed by the proportions brought to the table. BIG bottle, tiny pitcher, half full. (Or half empty if you are having that kind of day.)


What kind of drinkers do they think we are? What do they do? read the blog?

There were dueling Obama and Hillary supporters on the corner. I so wanted it to come to scratching and hair pulling.

Happy hearts.

Wishing happy hearts all around.



Cole Hardware, Fourth & Mission, Downtown San Francisco

OBO

View stepping out of my apartment building this morning:

Note the "sign".


As an old stand-up comic used to say: "Save up!"

Cure for Shyness

Sent in a while back from Alert Reader Chuck.

Just in time for Valentine's Day.



Pay attention to the warnings. Ask your doctor or pharmacist.

Here KITTE, KITTE, KITTE!

I suppose they couldn't call it the Knight Industries Two Thousand and Eight because it would sound like "Here Kitty!" Instead of black it would be pink and have Hello Kitty accents.

Other blogs report an advertising blitz, but the new NBC Knight Rider is news to me. I haven't seen any ads, but I only watch TV via my ReplayTV DVR so I don't see commercials anymore.



Val Kilmer is the voice of the new KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand), but he wasn't originally intended to be. /Film ("Slash Film") reports that Will Arnett (Arrested Development) recorded and finished the entire show (which NBC is calling an "event"), but in craziness (hopefully) exists only in Hollywood and marketing, Arnett's work was deleted and replaced at the last minute by Kilmer because Arnett has done voice work for General Motors in the past, and the new KITT is Ford Mustang. Who else in the world would notice, much less consider it a conflict? Or for that matter, care. (On a related note, check out the /Film post. When did Kilmer get so fat?)

And really, KITT is now a Ford Mustang? AutoBlog commentators have "claimed from the beginning that the new Knight Rider TV series is going to suck" and are calling it a Rustang.

Regardless, you can tune in this Sunday night, February 17, and see for yourself.

Two minute behind-the-scenes ad:

shake your booty

This is just the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. And that's saying a lot.

The Hula Chair.



Yeah, you're going to get a lot of work done. And you thought your carpel tunnel was bad before, eight hours of typing like that and you'll be certifiable.

From the Consumerist: We don't really know what else to say about the Hawaii Chair. Watching people fidget suggestively on what looks like an office desk chair makes us uncomfortable for some reason. Maybe it's the way they're pretending there's nothing weird going on?

it's not easy being brown

OMFG.

WTF with the spray tans?


Via "Why, That's Delightful" with a link to a scary set of New Jersey club nightmares.

Comments have given some explanation to some of the "tanning":

“The origin of this picture is actually probably not NJ, but rather a techno discotheque in Vienna, Austria, called “NACHTSCHICHT” (”nightshift”) whose patrons are primarily from working-class backgrounds.

The habit of using ridiculous amounts of tanning lotion - coupled with regular visits to the solarium (”soli”) - is so commonplace here that you barely spend a day without seeing at least a couple of these guys on the streets. There are numerous videos and galleries on the web that provide you with “best-of” compilations of this absurd trend…

The skin hue is referred to as “Prolo-braun” (Proletarian Brown). Many of these fashion victims refer to themselves as “Krocha”, which is also the name of the style of dance that they like to practice (related
to the europe-wide “jumpstyle” trend). Note that not all Krocha are Prolo-braun.

“Krocha” comes from “Krachen” (to crack), and from the expression “In die schicht einikrochn” (to burst into the nachtschichtg). Some scholars think it also has something to do with the effect of solarium abuse on the skin of the affected.

Other notable rituals include the sporting a celebratory “VoKuHiLa” hair style(”Vorne Kurz, Hinten Lang” = a mullet basically), the wearing of “de puta madre” t-shirts, ed hardy caps and, for the girls, the famous “Arschgeweih” (”Ass-Antlers” a tatoo near the bottom of the spine).

The newest style on the hard streets of Vienna is actually wearing cheap 5€ neon-colored baseball caps (3 colors available: pink, green, yellow - particularly effective under black light conditions), preferrably in large groups of associated “Krocha”. It is not uncommon to see 10-15 of them - all sporting pink headgear - loitering around the exits of local u-bahn (subway) stations, most notably along the U1
and U6 lines. These serve the eastern side of the city (on the “other side” of the danube), the 21st and 22nd district, which is also where the “Nachtschicht” is located and where most “Krocha” seem to originate from.

Interestingly, although many of the “local” (Austrian) followers of this style could be classified as having a right-wing and generally xenophobic orientation, “Krocha” come from many different cultural backgrounds, including Turkish and Eastern-European. Especially (sic) the Turkish Krocha are taking the style to new heights by combining it with a weird mix of punk/biker attire, many wearing tight black jeans, loose t-shirts and black leather jackets.

stacked

Do you know what tomorrow is?

It's National Pancake Day!


If that isn't a justification for dropping South Beach I don't know what is. And IHOP is giving away pancakes all day.

Hmmmmm. Syrupy.


Update: Apparently my "news" sources are teasing me. According to an anonymous commentator, this is the same day as Mardi Gras, and therefore last week. I don't remember them being on the same day, but it's not like I circle my calendar for flapjacks.

But I was looking forward to some free flaps!

Update Update: The snarky commentator was not entirely correct. National Pancake Day, as it is being celebrated by IHOP, is in fact tomorrow, February 12.

IHOP explains: In 2008, Fat Tuesday falls on February 5, which also happens to be Super Tuesday, on which a record number of states will hold their Presidential primaries. In the interest of embracing the democratic process, IHOP has postponed its celebration of National Pancake Day by one week, and will give away free pancakes on February 12.

best visual ever

We at the office had to literally LOL at this one.

We love the OMG blog. This genius pairing is only exceeded by the commentary:




Jennifer Lopez is pregnant with twins, but that doesn't explain why she looks like Ursula. Girlfriend should be at home in bed, not out walking around with one of her poor unfortunate souls. Oh, that's Marc Anthony? Never mind.

love my freaks

Generally, I hate Internet cuteness. LOL cats are funny, but "look at my kitty" videos aren't. And until James' boys, I really never got into cats at all.

That being said, I am also a sap.

I so love this. Prepare for saccharine adorable.



The mid-west wholesomeness of this is at least mitigated by the fact that this might be considered a freak cat. And I love my freaks, the outsiders, the crazy having fun and don't care who cares people. Yes, Charley is adorable and sweet and all that is good. Thank god he's got his freak on. I find that comforting. I would so rather have one of these cats.

From OMG.

flove my mother

There are moments when I just freaking love my mother. Not maternal love mind you, but "you are such a cool friend" love.

So, she's huddled in the basement with my father while tornadoes swirl overhead. She's chatting at me like she's excited about going to a party. All fun, laughter, and expectations.

Warning sirens sound in the distance.

I was picturing them in the dank basement-- which is fairly large but not even close to "finished" with exposed masonry, plumbing, dirt, sump pump, bugs, etc. I asked, "did you bring down chairs so at least y'all could sit."

"Of course we have chairs." And it occurred to me that as we use the basement for so much storage, they have ample supplies. We keep many folding and antique chairs down there-- some for the summer parties and formal cushioned ones for larger indoor dinners, and they were in the company of catering glassware, the "downstairs fridge," dry pantry supplies, and of course, the wine cellar.

"Dad's sitting here reading Newsweek and I'm talking to you and listening to the radio having a glass of wine."

"Of course you are! You're sitting in the good chairs, surrounded by plastic cups, have got a fridge full of white handy and a room full of reds."

"They said be sure to take some water and I just figured there was plenty of soda and soft drinks down here we'd be fine."

My favorite line of the conversation: "When the sirens started and they told us to get to our 'safe place,' I grabbed your father and an opener and went downstairs."

Twister's a-comin', and my mother has the presence of mind to grab a corkscrew if they are going to have to spend the night camped out in the cellar.

GOT to love the Fran.

And now y'all understand a little bit more about me.

By the way, the image in this post: that's my mother's idea of a twister.

right foot red

I called my parents last night, just for the usual "Hi, how are you? Love you. Just checking in." sort of call.

Mom answered. And in surprisingly good spirits, considering.

They were in the basement with the cell phone, cordless phone, flashlights and emergency radio.

There were some serious storms through the south last night, and tornadoes across Tennessee.

And in their neighborhood.

There's the "Tornado Watch" coverage, which means conditions are perfect for twisters and we're on the lookout. And then there is "Tornado Warning" coverage, which means we've spotted tornadoes. They're here. They're seriously fucking people up. We're tracking them on radar and in the field, so pay attention.

Last night they were listening to the latter. Well, Mom was. She's got like three emergency weather band radios stationed throughout the house. Dad was reading the paper.

The radio and television stations broke in to exclaim, "If you live in [my parents' neighborhood], get to your safe place NOW!"

From this morning's SFGate wire story on the storm: "Twenty-six people were killed in Tennessee, 13 killed in Arkansas, seven killed in Kentucky and four killed in Alabama."

More on this later.

stacked

lots to say, just way with the busy.

later.

branching out

The Western Addition branch of the San Francisco Public Library [map] reopened this weekend after a significant renovation.

From the SFGate:

It was a celebration as much about the books as it was a tribute to a neighborhood - an eclectic community trying to preserve diverse strands of history. And the library, several people said, was the place where it all comes together.

The branch library holds one of the Bay Area's largest Japanese-language collections as well as an African American collection. The library, on Scott Street at Geary Boulevard, is also near several senior housing complexes, which include a significant Jewish population.

"This branch library, more than any other in the city, creates bridges between cultures, interests and community groups," said Donna Bero, executive director of the Friends of the San Francisco Public Library, a nonprofit organization that does extensive fundraising and other work to support the city's libraries. [emphasis added]

Libraries are essential for the health and education of communities, and this one exemplifies that not all of the education comes from books.

halfway to the iPhone I'll buy

Apple announced upgrades to the iPhone and the iPod Touch today (for those of you not paying attention, Apple only makes big announcements on Tuesdays).

Both the iPhone and the iPod Touch got double the memory (iPhone to to 16 GB and Touch to 32GB) and will retail for $500 (okay, $499, whatever). Nothing else is new.

According to Pete Mortensen over at the Cult of Mac: "Anyone waiting for 3G data or a GPS chip? [Yes, I am.-ijs] You’ll just have to wait. My guess is we’ll see a true second-generation iPhone in June, for the one-year anniversary of the original’s release date."

Check back in June and I might be all geek aflutter with a new toy.

jack and Ginger please

It seems that the rumors were just that. Ginger's Trois has not closed for good, and according to the conversation of Yelpers, is back in business.

For those of you not in the know, Ginger's Trois is a great, off-kilter tiny bar in the Financial District, and the only bar downtown with a gay bent. It's a very old fashioned sort of place with personal and celebrity memorabilia from decade's past-- from photos of Ginger Rogers to ceramic leather men. All rather eclectic, especially with the incongruous nautical theme. But really, just that strange recipe makes for a really nice downtown-and-yet-off-the-grid charm. As if you found some sort of secret room.

And the bartenders are professionals, which really shows in their concocktails.

Follow the angst and celebration on Yelp.

brunch

"I don't have a problem with a man drinking before breakfast, but it is impolite not to offer me any."

—Toni Mannix to George Reeves, Hollywoodland

Happy Birthday Lance

red light!

Improv Everywhere is at it again.

The time loop was my favorite, but now I think this my new favorite mission.

Frozen Grand Central
On a cold Saturday in New York City, the world’s largest train station came to a sudden halt. Over 200 Improv Everywhere Agents froze in place at the exact same second for five minutes in the Main Concourse of Grand Central Station. Over 500,000 people rush through Grand Central every day, but today, things slowed down just a bit as commuters and tourists alike stopped to notice what was happening around them. Enjoy the video first and then go behind the scenes with our mission report and photos.

YouTube video below (higher res here)




By the way, Improv Everywhere is now, in fact, everywhere.

I've signed up for SF.

getting a grip

Now this is a prosthetic hand.

Dean Kamen's “Luke arm”—a prosthesis named for the remarkably lifelike prosthetic worn by Luke Skywalker in Star Wars—came to the end of its two-year funding last month. Its fate now rests in the hands of the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), which funded the project. If DARPA gives the project the green light—and some greenbacks—the state-of-the-art bionic arm will go into clinical trials. If all goes well, and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration gives its approval, returning veterans could be wearing the new artificial limb by next year.

The Luke arm grew out of DARPA’s Revolutionizing Prosthetics program, which was created in 2005 to fund the development of two arms. The first initiative, the four-year, US $30.4 million Revolutionizing Prosthetics contract, to be completed in 2009, led by Johns Hopkins Applied Physics Laboratory in Laurel, Md., seeks a fully functioning, neurally controlled prosthetic arm using technology that is still experimental. The latter, awarded to Deka Research and Development Corp., Kamen’s New Hampshire–based medical products company (perhaps best known for the Segway), is a two-year $18.1 million 2007 effort to give amputees an advanced prosthesis that could be available immediately “for people who want to literally strap it on and go.”
...
“Prosthetic legs are in the 21st century,” he says. “With prosthetic arms, we’re in the Flintstones.”

via Boing Boing

time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin'

A very cool, if unrealistic (yet optimistic) 1979 view of the future (i.e. now) in the illustrated Usborne Book of the Future.

Give yourself a treat and embiggen the page describing the advances from 1991 to 2000. I'm impressed that they envisioned electronic mail. But disappointed it is conceived as scanned at one end, sent electronically, then printed out and delivered at the other end.

The USSR also launches a "cosmic greenhouse" to grow oxygen and cabbage for space stations. Clever bunch that USSR.

No cell phones, but everyone wears a wrist radio ("which might be nicknamed 'ristos'") providing 24 hour emergency services. Great for the person who falls off the massive ocean liner and presses the emergency button on his watch before losing consciousness under water (actual example).

professional reputation

Perhaps I should keep my work separate from my play. I already have different cards for work and for fun.

Conversation with administration today, with "Cookie" who herself if Asian, but more central Californian than anything, and entirely wholesome:

Me: "I need to verify some information regarding [difficult Chinese name]."
Marie: "Oh my. Can you spell that?"
Me: [Spelling]
Marie: "[tries to pronounce it back]. Wow. And to think I'm taking up Mandarin."
Me: "I'm only taking up mandarin and sodas. I gurantee you my classes are more fun."

I am the great corrupter.