cute name for a shop

Retropolitan, as seen in Hillsboro Village in Nashville.


And as long as I'm posting signs, shout out to Paul Day:


And I felt I had to pic this:

a hot time in Nashvegas!

I returned Monday from a love- and sweat-filled, but not sweaty love-filled, week or so back home. It was great to spend quality time with Dad, and I wish I could stay longer as it really perks him up and hanging out with me is something he can do. It's also good to be around the house to take care of whatever Mom needs in addition to caring for and spending time with Papa John.

I spent Tuesday afternoon with Mom shopping around medical supply places, and picking out handrails and other assistive devices I could install while I was at home. Fortunately, the final stop was next-door to Tribe, and I decided that Mom should get a tour of where I spend so much time, and shade herself a spell with a well-deserved glass of wine. At 4:45, Tribe was just opening, and Suzy Wong's wasn't officially open for business yet. I sent text messages to friend and owner David that I was giving Mom a tour, and shared a couple of pics as it really cracked me up. Mom checked out the lucite furniture around the pool area—free stuff provided by the Camel company, but the stools were high, tilted, and so smooth that she kept sliding out.


Suzy Wong's was kind enough to pour us a glass of the Lonely Cow a few minutes before five and Franna and I were happy to enjoy the late afternoon of sunshine and finally reasonable temperatures on the back patio.


I think this is the first time my mother has sat still or relaxed by herself in quite some time. She said she felt a little guilty taking a moment for herself, which I encouraged. And it was really nice to have that quality quiet time alone with Mom away from phones and errands and obligations.

I love my momma. And am proud to be a Mamma's Boy. I'm also a Daddy's Boy, and I suppose in more ways than one.

It was a HOT week in Nashville. I sorely needed some exercise, and on the days that I did not work out in the Club's Fitness center while Dad has his PT, I would take a walk down the Boulevard. And in that heat, that was an endurance feat. Ow.

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The intense heat and humidity was often followed by intense southern thunderstorms, which were nice in their own way in the feeling of warm water washing over you when caught outside, the rumble of the thunder at night, and the drama of lightning crashes striking too close for comfort.

Although it did make for flash flooding in some areas and painful reminders of May Day.


However, the sunshine and unbearable heat would quickly return, and I managed a couple of breaks between chores to enjoy my brief access to "summer" and "sunshine" and tried to do something about my San Franciscan pallor.


It was so sunny.. How sunny was it?!... It was so sunny that Jeff Rymer had to wear two pairs of sunglasses.


(You may have to click and embiggen to see that he also has a pait on top of his head.)

sweet dreams

Today was Mac's birthday. After dinner at the Club we went back for no-sugar cheesecake (Mac has dropped a ton of weight and is looking awesome) and gifts at their house. Leland, of course, was just oozing adorable.

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Leland hated to see us all go, and clings particularly to the rarely seen Uncle Wilson. He gave me a good-night hug, and since I could not spend the night with him but had to go to Franna and Papa John's to sleep, he took me up to his room to give me a "hugs" I could sleep with. He gave me Froggy, his favorite comfort animal, to sleep with tonight.


My insides melted.

let the river run

The Friday late night/early morning with Robin & Joe ended with an invitation to join them with their friends on Sunday for an afternoon on the Cumberland River. We set off from Rock Harbor Marina, where one of my favorite restaurants, the Blue Moon Café, washed away in the May Day Flood. We dropped anchor in front of Kenny Chesney's house (formerly Alan Jackson's), and you can see where the moorings are left from the floating dock which also washed away in the May Day Flood of 2010. Photos of Kenny Chesney on a boat over his lawn with the flooding Cumberland were in high news rotation at the time.

heat wave hello

Ahhh.  For the next week or so I've traded the Arctic weather of the San Franciscan summer for the ridiculously hot and humid summer of Nashville.

We had a cold front come through today, so it was down to 95.  Nice.  So far it hasn't been too bad, but that wedding was pretty hot.  In more ways than one.& I think my cousins showed up Chelsea Clinton.

I landed Friday night in time to see the gay/community social set at the Wanderlust fundraiser for the Brooks Fund and the Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee at the Lane Motor Museum. Keith has all sorts of great photos, and his Flickr set is here.

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A pleasant surprise was running into the fun couple I met last year at this same benefit. Robin and Joe picked Nashville to be their home when they left New Orleans, and one thing they wanted was a city with a vibrant gay community. While that last photo above is a photo of Joe and Robin, that Joe is not her husband Joe. I clearly remember meeting Robin and Joe last year, and Robin was hell bent on partying with us afterward, but peaked a bit too soon and could make it. This year, Robin, Joe and their friends joined us for after fun at Tribe, where I was happy to run into Billy and Jennifer Frist. Their babysitter offered to take all the kids of a birthday party sleepover and Jennifer and Billy jumped at the chance for date night. And I love that they are the fun sort who end up at Tribe.

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I love that I had only been back a couple of hours and already managed to check in with 40 to 50 good friends. And I'm very happy with the picture quality of the new iPhone 4.

My first night turned out to be a long one, as Keith, Robin, Joe and I decided to close down Play, and then have a late late supper at The Hermitage Cafe and didn't get home until 4:00-ish. Lordy, their biscuits and gravy are good. Never good for you, but I consider the Hermitage a special occasion.

Saturday was a cousin's wedding, and I was feeling mighty old with these 23-year-olds running around. And I must admit with this crowd of groomsmen I was feeling a little like a dirty old man, until I realized my straight counterparts were a thousand times worse regarding the ridiculously hot young women in ridiculously short dresses.

It was a beautiful service, and amazing reception occupying the entire BMCC and two tents. Jimmy ordered 40 thousand pounds more of A/C (I don't understand that unit of measurement but that's was I heard) and it was worth it. The event took me back to my early years when we all traveled for those lush and lavish southern weddings of my generation. And it was joyful to see a new generation continuing the tradition and enjoying it so thoroughly, opulent though it may be. I love my extended family and it was a blast partying with them all again. No one needed babysitters anymore as all the kids were old enough to attend or participate in this one. (Hell, "Little David," who I have not seen since he was six or so, is now a good head taller than I am.) Here I am with cousins Biz and Kathleen (yes, we are that southern) and then a photo of some of their kids. Unbelievable.

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My mother, who someone noted no longer ages, was in heaven. All her children were there, all her extended family, and her sons were ready for dancing.

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Other Scenes from a Southern Wedding:

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But I particularly love some of these shots of Mac and Emily dancing:
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Y'all see why I love coming home...

One last thing—a very nice touch.  Hostess gifts for the guests were, appropriately enough, wedding cookies.  The special thing is that they were presented in miniature reproductions of the old H.G. Hill Grocery Stores bags, our family business (and I suppose the source of funding for this affair).

Call the florist!

Judge Walker has ruled (pdf).

The stay on his ruling finding that Proposition 8 denying same sex couples access to marriage laws to be unconstitutional has been LIFTED, but the order NOT ENACTED for another week (August 18) to give time for the state to comply with the order in an orderly (ha) fashion, and to allow the greater 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to respond should they choose to do so. 

So, yes, the stay has been lifted, but not enforced for another week.

The language in the actual ruling is pretty clear, and awesome.  Here are the first two paragraphs:

Defendant-intervenors Dennis Hollingsworth, Gail Knight,
Martin Gutierrez, Mark Jansson and ProtectMarriage.com
(“proponents”) move to stay the court’s judgment to ensure that
Proposition 8 remains in effect as they pursue their appeal in the
Ninth Circuit. Doc #705. In the alternative, proponents seek a
brief stay to allow the court of appeals to consider the matter. Id.

Plaintiffs and plaintiff-intervenor City and County of
San Francisco ask the court to deny the stay and order the
injunction against Proposition 8 to take effect immediately. Doc
#718. California’s Governor and Attorney General (collectively the
“state defendants”) also oppose any stay. Doc ##716, 717. Other
than proponents, no party seeks to stay the effect of a permanent
injunction against Proposition 8. Because proponents fail to
satisfy any of the factors necessary to warrant a stay, the court
denies a stay except for a limited time solely in order to permit
the court of appeals to consider the issue in an orderly manner.

And the final paragraph, after six pages of clear, logical and well-reasoned smackdown:

None of the factors the court weighs in considering a

motion to stay favors granting a stay. Accordingly, proponents’

motion for a stay is DENIED. Doc #705. The clerk is DIRECTED to

enter judgment forthwith. That judgment shall be STAYED until

August 18, 2010 at 5 PM PDT at which time defendants and all

persons under their control or supervision shall cease to apply or

enforce Proposition 8.

IT IS SO ORDERED.

same sex marriage pole

Via Towleroad did I find Nate Silver's interesting dissection of polling data regarding same sex marriage (I still hate that term and would prefer something without "sex" in it, like I've heard about actual marriage).  In his FiveThirtyEight piece Opinion on Same-Sex Marriage Appears to Shift at Accelerated Pace, Nate Silver reports the following:

In April, 2009, when we last took a survey of gay marriage polls, we found that support for it had converged somewhere into the area of 41 or 42 percent of the country. Now, it appears to have risen by several points, and as I reported yesterday, it has become increasingly unclear whether opposition to gay marriage still outweighs support for it.


Here is a version of the graph we produced in 2009, but updated to include the dozen or so polls that have been conducted on it since that time, as listed by pollingreport.com. I have also included opinions on gay marriage from the General Social Survey, which asked about gay marriage as long ago as 1988.

The LOESS regression line now shows 50 percent opposed to gay marriage and 49 percent in support -- basically too close to call.

I know I'm not helping the debate here, but is it just me or does this data kinda look like a penis?

clever Ploy

James, Kate and I used to hang out all the time.  Over a decade later, not so much.  We try to, but jobs and significant others and other socializing always seem to get in the way.  We do always aim fora t least a Christmas/holiday dinner together, even if it gets pushed back to February.  We schedule and reschedule and ultimately have quality time in our favorite house Thai restaurant, Ploy II in the Upper Haight.

Again, Kate had to cancel at the last moment, but completely justifiably as Scott had just gotten into a pretty serious car accident.  James and I kept our date, and after considering other options, kept the tasty Ploy II plan.  I duly noted this by checking in via FourSquare, feeding to Facebook, and shouting out to Kate. 

Claudia was the first to comment with something like this: "I ♥ when restaurants have '2' in the name. It always sounds like a bad sequel to me, and I try to come up with a subtitle...like "Ploy 2: Son of Ploy" or ":Bride of Ploy", or ":With A Vengeance", or "Ploy 2: Ploy vs. Rodan. Try it sometime -it's fun over drinks"


Brad Wilson, quiet and devilishly clever neighbor who also lives in the Upper Haight commented, "I love Ploy II."

Later adding, "Or 'Ploy 2: Electric Boogaloo.'"

Brad Wilson for the win. 

And Ploy II will henceforth be referred to as "Electric Boogaloo."

Update:  "Ploy 2: Thai Phoon!"

return to sender

My niece went to summer campy for about a month and wrote me a letter when she first arrived.  As "cool uncle" (suck it Mac!) I usually send lots of letters and care packages to the kids when they're away.  Last time they went to camp there was a prohibition on food/cookies/candy as it caused all sorts of pest problems.  I wasn't planning on any contraband, but at the boys' camp all packages have to be opened in the presence of a counselor.  In my day, the worst you might get were Snap-N-Pops, and cookies were totally allowed and made you a rock star for the afternoon.  These days I'm guessing they are checking for food, fireworks, or pot. (really?  drugs?  Things were sooo different in the 70s.  Some of the counselors may have blazed up, but we had no idea.)

I spent a couple of days and about a hundred bucks picking out little fun things for camp care packages for Ellen, and then bought lots of shipping supplies.  I got things like lightsticks, plastic snakes and mice, glow in the dark things, mini LED clip, inflatable beach balls, San Francisco ball caps and t-shirts, things to share with friends, small fans, feather boa (you never know—they have dances and talent shows)— little bits of silly camp fun.  I bought enough supplies and postcards to send her a package and a letter every other day for her camp session.  Every time I dropped another parcel in the post I felt a little swell of happy knowing I was sending something fun to Ellen, and imagining that lift we always got when the cabin mailbox had a slip in it indicating you got a package. 

So imagine how completely pissed off I was when weeks later I stared getting "you've got a package at the post office" slips at my own door and had to take to time to deal with my local post office only to be receiving these every few days.




Holy fucking shit, the camp refused all care packages and "large envelopes" under a blanket "no package" policy.  And of course I only find this out after I mailed over a dozen of them.  I was livid.  I can get wanting to avoid contraband and any "have versus have nots" spats among the mean girls, but such a blanket policy regardless of knowing what is being sent just made me angry and exceedingly frustrated.  I got into one of those sort of deep arguments in my head, imagining myself yelling in these censors faces, then imagining myself sneaking into camp and defiantly leaving the packages on her bed, then deciding just to send all packages via owl like Harry Potter, only this one would claw the eyes out of anyone who interfered.

Clearly, this struck a nerve.  Anyone who censors anything, particularly mail, pisses me off.  And yes, while I suppose the camp is in fact operating in loco parentis, it still bothered me that they flat out refused mail that was not addressed to them without the recipeint's consent.  I wasn't entirely sure how legal it was to interfere with the federal mail addressed to someone else, even if they are considered a tenant on their property.

Perhaps I was thrown into such a tizzy because the "refused delivery"stickers were so fucking smarmy.  I'm sure the intent was to inform and placate the sender but it has the opposite effect.   



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Do they really know she has everything she needs?  Perhaps this insulin would have been helpful.  Or certain knowledge of the love and affection of her family.  Or news from home.  Or a connection with her far-flung and rarely seen Uncle?  Each of these had letters inside, which were denied delivery to their addressed recipient.  Are baseball caps and a feather boa so scandalous that any possibility of such must be guarded against?  Regardless of the other contents, should personal correspondence be denied?  Clearly I'm on "no."

What annoyed me most was the amount of effort and attention I put into a month-long campaign of affection for my niece away from her family (and with whom I am trying to bond as she grows up so far away from me), but as far as she knew, she was sending me letters but I was ignoring her.    That's what really sent me over the edge on this one.   To the person who refused delivery:  Hey, this isn't addressed to you.  Back your shit off. 

Okay, okay, I get it, I get it.  Nanny businesses often have to enact blanket policies, but more often than not this manifests itself in idiocy, indicating that if employees don't have enough good judgment to make good decisions without a blanket policy, they are going to make really bad ones with it.  Typical example:  That girl who was expelled from school under a zero tolerance for drugs policy because she had Midol in her purse for PMS.  Or the four-year-old expelled for sexual harassment because he kissed a girl.  Or the TSA and the Bush administration's persisting war on moisture.

Love is all around, no need to waste it

This was a long week/end of just wonderful people all around.

Wednesday we enjoyed a cold but empowering celebratory march from Harvey Milk Plaza to the steps of City Hall in celebration of the ruling of Prop 8 as unconstitutional.  The march was full of friendly faces and wonderful humans, and it was followed by an intimate homemade dinner with close friends.  And pie.

Thursday was truly something special as Samantha DeFrance Marini came into town for her sister's wedding in Tahoe and brought together Nashville childhood friends Sarah Carroll Andrews, Eleanor Jones Murry and me.  We all grew up together in Nashville, but haven't seen each other in ages.  Samanatha married Lorenzo and has been living in Tuscany ever since, having a fab life with one four-year-old and two newborn twins, and planning weddings and events through their site A Tuscan Wedding dot com.  Sarah and I were friends in Nashville, then partners in crime as next-door neighbors in SF for many years until she got married and moved to Sonoma.  I've known Eleanor almost as long (I once asked her to prom, not knowing she was dating a guy on the football team at the time), and she too used to be a neighbor, living in the apartment downstairs from me for a couple of years between her time in North Beach and marrying (distant cousin) Dan and settling down in Mill Valley.  For many years we were E-Dog, Wil-Dog and Sa-Dog.  Since their marriages, I have seen none of them save once or twice, and Samantha gathered us together for champagne with her parents (whom I see often in Nashville and play host to Fun Simon) before we all went to a posh dinner at the Cafe Balboa in Mill Valley.

Sam Marini and Eleanor Murray

Of course, as it was then, these ladies were my "first dates."  I was done by 10:00 and while the drive back to the City was a slow crawl absent traffic but full of dense, dense fog, I was able to meet up with Ben whom I was unable to accompany to the SF Bay Guardian's Best of the Bay Ball (Ben's band Ejector was voted Best Band in the Bay).  Text delays meant I did not have a location more specific than 'the Castro" so I started a methodical search (checking into FourSqaure at each stop just to be "that guy" and harass some friends), and stopped at Moby's when I found Donna Sachet, herself fresh back from the Best of the Bay event talking to Ryan Donovan who had just made her acquaintance.

The Ryan thing is kind of awesome.  I was looking through my address book for 40th birthday invitees and came across Ryan's entry.  I hadn't seen Ryan since maybe my 30th, and thought I would look him up on Facebook.  We reconnected and made plans to get together and catch up on a Monday, only to run into each other by happenstance on the Saturday before.  Ryan has now dropped in as a Brain Farts regular and fun renewed friend to the gang.  He's been moved back to the City since May and already he's joined a trivia team and chatting up the First Lady of San Francisco Donna Sachet in bars.

The Donna/Donovan party ultimately moved to 440, where I did finally find Ben and had super happy fun quality time until far far too late.  Or early, depending on which way you wind your watch. 

Late night fun time resulted in necessary nap time before Full Fun Friday, which started off with a wine and cheese fundraiser for Jim Rudoff and Brent Ganetta at A.G. Ferrrari's at their Castro Street location.  A.G. Ferrrari's was a wonderful host and plied up with all sorts of tasty treat, and in addition  to the tasting cover and raffle sales, 10% of all items purchased during the event hours went towards the riders in The Seismic Challenge.  I very much regret not taking any photos.

After wine & cheese there was cocktails and dinner, followed by a very different fundraiser which necessitated a wardrobe change: Suzan Revah's now-monthly Nasty event at the Powerhouse to benefit the AIDS Emergency Fund.  I gave friend and photographer Michael Smith a ride home and look forward to what his eye caught during the night.  It was an early-ish night for me and I had never been more happy to be going home alone.  Sleep blessed sleep, apnea notwithstanding.  I found it ironic how excited I was looking forward to being unconscious.  

Celebrating so much love in the world can be exhausting.

shut yer pie hole

with banana chocolate caramel cream pie.

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Thanks Jeff!

Unconstitutional!

Last nights rallies, cold as the SF fog was, were hot with justice. Sure, there will be an immediate stay and it will still take years for the case to work its way up to the Supremes, but Judge Walker's ruling was thorough, articulate, and a total smackdown to the bigots and haters who can't justify with any reasonable evidence or argument why gay people should be subjugated citizens other than some folks thick we're icky.

Just a couple of camera shots from last night:

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As we made our way from Harvey Milk Plaza in the Castro to City Hall, we did have some fun on the big traveling cocktail party. Two things:

What is UP with this poor thing's weave? It look like it was affixed with tar and a trowel.


But we loved her pink and blue flag. We did not know the significance of the colors, unless she was reaffirming the marriage of Jeff and Brian:


The crowd in front of City Hall gathered for some celebratory words before dispersing to party around the City.

Hey look Ma!
Just kidding.

This final pic was taken with a new "You Gotta See This" panorama making app for the iPhone 4. I'm still working out how to use it best.

Pretty Sneaky Sis!

Fuck yeah! Sneaky's barbecue is going to cater the birthday party.

From all of the reviews around the Bay, theirs is the downhome best pork BBQ, and I want to take a bath in their macaroni and cheese. So far Pat has been a joy to work with, and he was happy to work with me to cater exactly what I wanted within my new budget. They are even going to bring their juicer to make fresh lemonade on site!

Apple iPhone 4 antenna issue?

Yeah, holding it with a left hand, you know so you can type with the right one, is a total death grip. Meh.