Foreign affairs

Kevin called me at work this morning. He called for some travel advice:

"So, when you travel out of the country, like to Utah, how does one handle the reservation [for a gay couple]?"

Kevin is planning a ski weekend for him and Shawn. He found this little chateau/motel that is rumored nice but incredibly cheap for ski accommodations. To give you an idea of the place, the first floor is a dormitory. (A room full of twenty-something ski studs and snowboarders--sounds pretty WB CW sexy.) Kevin talked to a guy on the phone last night (no e-mail or web presence) who told him that they require room reservation deposits to be mailed as checks (not a credit card transaction). Kevin called back this morning to ask where to mail the check. The man who answered the phone was the proprietor and assumed Kevin talked to his son last night as he could not find any of the reservation information.

Kevin wanted to be sure they got a room with a queen (hee hee) sized bed as the fulls just don't cut it for two grown people to sleep comfortably. Kevin inquired about getting a queen-sized bed and the proprietor went through his usual reservation interview to determine what configuration of room to reserve. The question posed was this, "So are you a couple or two guys?"

Kevin balked. Stunned by the question, he merely said, "We're two men."
"Good. We'll put you in a room with two beds then..." (reportedly spoken as someone merely managing occupancy, not making a value judgement.)

Kevin's first thought was that a more sophisticated or professional lodging establishment would ask "King, Queen, or two double beds?" or "How many beds will you need?" He was then at a loss as to what to do about it.

My first thought was that the answer to the question "Are you a couple or two men?" is "Yes."

My advice to him was to call back and ask for what he wanted (namely a room with a queen-sized bed). What should he care what a random motel owner in Utah thinks of him? I think Kevin and Shawn should not be ashamed of who they are nor should they pretend not to be a couple for a cheap ski weekend. It's better to have this conversation now. Telling the proprietor who they are and what they want will not only reveal if the place is gay-friendly or not (valuable information to be sure) but Kevin is paying for the weekend and should be able to get what he wants.

And better to know the climate now and plan accordingly than be faced with bigotry on arrival. Not that Kevin and Shawn aren't both masculine men (hell, Shawn was in the Army for Heaven's sakes), but c'mon. Not only should they not have to try to pass, it's not like folks wouldn't get a clue the first time one of them shrieked at a porcelain figure of Elvis (or velvet painting of Brigham Young), or clutched their pearls with a gasp, or entered the bar elbows first in a cocktail frenzy. Then again they have wacko liquor laws so the bar thing might not be a problem.

That an environment might be actively hostile to homos is information you want before you decide to go there.

The argument that ultimately convinced Kevin to call the guy back and say (but I advised not to apologise) that they are a couple and would prefer a room with queen-sized bed, is that if the establishment is not gay-friendly he should not be giving it his hard-earned money.

If the guy balks to the request or recommends they find other accommodations, then Kevin has his answer.