I'm deleting all sorts of flotsam from my cell phone. Here are some of the more colorful text messages I'm deleting:
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Me: Aw. It’s funny when baby dykes pass out with their head out the passenger side covered in vomit. (Seen at the corner of Castro and 18th near Badlands I tried to get a photo with the phone but it was too dark.).
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SK: while I didn’t see baby dykes puking out the window…I did see midgets in drag on roller skates. That’s gotta count for something considering it’s Nashville.
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KK: I can’t make it. Waaaa! Give ‘em my love. And by love, I mean penis.
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Me: Just saved a turtle.
JH: Did you have to kill a man to do so?
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KK (responding to my text about making out with a mostly drunk and subsequently only mostly straight guy): Yay for the Kissing Bandit! “I thought I was straight until his velvety vodka tongue probed me….Then I began to wonder, ‘what does cock taste like?’”
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JH: Will, Cindy and I are about to run a beer mile at 8 pm and after too many cocktails. Wish me luck.
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Me to KK: You would be so proud of me. Which is to say that I should be ashamed.
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Me to JH: Songwriter Maurice just said “When I write songs about drinkin’ they tend to be about gin rather than whiskey ‘cause gin is easier to rhyme.”
--And this just in from SK: so ya know when the person on the treadmill in front of you farts...yeah well that sucks. I almost vomited.
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