SF still cracks me up

I love this town.

Where else is there a successful street fair dedicated to fetish and kink? This weekend was the Dore Alley steet fair "Up Your Alley," an increasingly popular off-shoot (no pun intended) of the Folsom Street Fair, which has become so large, bridge-and-tunnel, lookie-loo, and tourist-laden that it is considered rather tame for an S&M street fair.

Usually Dore is full of lots of fun crazy stuff. And lots of flesh. I co-captained the Rodeo's beer both, which this year did more business than the other beer booths combined. All I can say is "Man! It was cold!"

Freezing fog really put the kibosh on a lot of frolicking. At a fair where men are expected to wear next to nothing-some doing it better than others-- it wasn't just a concern for shrinkage, but hypothermia. I overheard one person in the crowd mutter, "It's a tough day to be a nudist."

And yet, the same day that several city blocks were cordoned off to celebrate healthy sex and eclectic interests (and raise truckloads of money for local charities), just north in Union Square New York's Naked Cowboy was arrested for singing in his skivvies.

Three words for you Naked Cowboy, from one naked cowboy to another: "Location, location, location."

This is SF. Locals don't bat an eye at outlandish costumes or lack thereof (this didn't even make the local papers--only the NY Post). But don't pester and don't perform permitless (pantless is fine) and don't panhandle in the central shopping district.

Be as naked and as cowboy as you want. We celebrate whoever you want to be. Just don't push it on others. You're free to be who you want to be, and they are free not to be bothered by it.

I get this is how you make a living, but it just sort of reduces you to a panhandler with a gym membership and a slightly more colorful angle. Panhandling is forbidden in Union Square. For SF, you're not considered colorful. We've got brighter birds than this. If you want to sing for your supper, try the subway, or Market Street, or the seedier side of the theater disctrict.

And seriously, I'm a member of the Bay Area Chapter of the Golden State Gay Rodeo Association. We know from naked cowboys. This look? Not so much. Boots and buns do not a naked cowboy make.