duck and cover

or was it "stop, drop, and roll?"

There was also "say no, go and tell." And it was really important not to get those two confused.

Today in a company-wide e-mail, tips on how to manage a worksplace shooting spree.

Seriously.

There's going to be a presentation next week. ("NOTE: This presentation includes audio and visual displays of actual campus shooting scenes. Due to the graphic content of these scenes, viewer discretion is advised.")

The body of this notice included the "the five steps for survival during a shooting incident." They are:

1. Escape
2. Cover
3. Hide
4. Play dead
5. Attack the attacker (last resort)

Yeah. You can just rock me to sleep tonight.